Bear is starting to think that this stearns bear isn't really a bear. maybe that's the type of bear you build with this hannah montana bear in this bear building shop.
Bear has been reading on the computer and listening to the humans talk in the woods that the humans made in the new city and they're all really pissed at this stearns bear just like Bear is. The stearns bear still hasn't given Bear any money for using his name. That's why Bear didn't include him in his favorite bear survey, cause the stearns bear isn't anybody's favorite bear.
Apparently not only has this stearns not-really-a-bear not given Bear the beer money he deservises, but he took lots of the human's money too. Now lots of the humans think they're going to have to live in the woods full time. Bear doesn't think that would be the worst thing. Bear would miss the white box and this internet science, but he's lived in the woods before and there's lots of beers and food and fun things to do. But humans only seem to like to live in the woods for short times on weekends when its warm. Then humans don't like the woods.
Bear isn't happy about all the humans that have to move into the woods cause then it will be very crowded there. But Bear is happy that this stearns not-really-a-bear has failed and got his come-uppins. That will teach humans to steal Bear's name and not give him beer compensation.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Animal Blogs
Bear helped the other animals make blogs so they can express their opinions on the science box too. Lynx is not very interested in it. Moose loves it but is very slow so Bear has to help a lot. Cappy is illiterate and doesn't understand what the science is. Cappy just likes the pictures and riding around the city in handbags. Humans should visit the other animal blogs. Bear made links to them, see, over there on the right paw side.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
How Bears are Built
What is this Build-A-Bear? Who is this Hanna Montana? She doesn't seem to be a bear. And why are their fake cats with funny painted coats? Cats aren't bears.
Build-A-Bear
Bear knows how bears are built cause Bear and his brother saw it happening once in the woods in Fundy and asked mama bear and she explained.
First a man bear and a girl bear wrestle. Normally man bears and girl bears don't get along, and when Bear and his brother were in the woods mama had to hide and protect us cause men bears would eat us.
Then the girl bears eats more than normal and gets fat. Then the girl bear makes a den and cuddles up in it. Then when she comes out, she has new bears.
Thats how bears are built.
Build-A-Bear
Bear knows how bears are built cause Bear and his brother saw it happening once in the woods in Fundy and asked mama bear and she explained.
First a man bear and a girl bear wrestle. Normally man bears and girl bears don't get along, and when Bear and his brother were in the woods mama had to hide and protect us cause men bears would eat us.
Then the girl bears eats more than normal and gets fat. Then the girl bear makes a den and cuddles up in it. Then when she comes out, she has new bears.
Thats how bears are built.
New Home
Bear and The Moose have successfully arrived in our new home. The last part of the walk in the city was the hardest part cause its hard to avoid being seen and shot by the humans in the city. And Bear lost Lynx's scent trail for a bit with all the human smells around, and Bear smelled lots of new things and kept eating out of the green boxes on the streets. Lynx was home to let us in the new house. Cappy was outside with the girl.
Cappy came with the girl by hiding in her bag when she came. Now Cappy has seen all of the humans in this city carrying their small dogs in bags, so Cappy has decided that is how small animals behave in this city and he insists on being taken everywhere with the girl in her bag. His noises sound more like dogs now too.
Lynx is the same.
Bear and The Moose made it to the new house by walking through some woods in the new city, but not woods like camping woods, but the type of woods that humans make themselves. Bear had to remind The Moose that he has to hide when he's in a human city cause the humans will shoot him. The Moose was a superstar in the woods on the walk down. Humans love him and take pictures of him and he poses and some of them even give him food. The Moose loved the attention. The Moose thought he was Britney Spears with a paparazi following. Bear had to remind him that is only in the real woods and that humans will shoot him if they see him in the human woods.
Humans will shoot Bear wherever he is. Bear doesn't like this speciesism.
The Moose was still having some trouble remembering to hide in the city, and Bear told him that he is a grown up moose cause of the walk now too, so he was being a little cockey when we first got to the city. The Moose had an incident in the human woods with a horse. The horse was grumpy cause he didn't like his new job and The Moose was showing off about not having a job and being a media superstar in the woods. The horse bit him. The Moose yellped and ran away. Bear found him hiding in a pond. The Moose learned his lesson.
Cappy came with the girl by hiding in her bag when she came. Now Cappy has seen all of the humans in this city carrying their small dogs in bags, so Cappy has decided that is how small animals behave in this city and he insists on being taken everywhere with the girl in her bag. His noises sound more like dogs now too.
Lynx is the same.
Bear and The Moose made it to the new house by walking through some woods in the new city, but not woods like camping woods, but the type of woods that humans make themselves. Bear had to remind The Moose that he has to hide when he's in a human city cause the humans will shoot him. The Moose was a superstar in the woods on the walk down. Humans love him and take pictures of him and he poses and some of them even give him food. The Moose loved the attention. The Moose thought he was Britney Spears with a paparazi following. Bear had to remind him that is only in the real woods and that humans will shoot him if they see him in the human woods.
Humans will shoot Bear wherever he is. Bear doesn't like this speciesism.
The Moose was still having some trouble remembering to hide in the city, and Bear told him that he is a grown up moose cause of the walk now too, so he was being a little cockey when we first got to the city. The Moose had an incident in the human woods with a horse. The horse was grumpy cause he didn't like his new job and The Moose was showing off about not having a job and being a media superstar in the woods. The horse bit him. The Moose yellped and ran away. Bear found him hiding in a pond. The Moose learned his lesson.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Bear and The Moose in the Woods
Bear and The Moose are now in The Mooses homeland. Bear has found a computer box that some sleeping human campers left unattended and could not resist borrowing it to update his blog.
Bear and The Moose have been on a walk in the woods for 5 nights now and we have come to where The Moose was born. It has been a very nice walk. Lots of trees and berries and fishes to eat and Bear even found some honey. Now that we are in The Mooses homeland there are lots of human campers again and that of course means human treats and beers for Bear to drink and eat. Bear likes that. The Moose is very happy. Bear told him that we're going on a long camping trip and we are meeting the man and girl at the end of it. Bear told him that the long camping trip without the humans and no tent is part of The Moose growing up into a grown up moose and it will make his stubs grow into big antlers like he wants. This makes The Moose happy.
The Moose has been having lots of memories on the walk since its the same walk he made when he was a new moose on the way to live with the humans in the house. He has met lots of the animals that helped him eat and find his way on the first walk --- other mooses and deers and squirrels and ground hogs and beavers and otters and the stinky animals and the spikey back animals. The other animals all tell him stories from when they met. Sometimes The Moose remembers, sometimes he doesn't, sometimes The Moose gets confused, sometimes happy and sometimes sad, but he's always fine after snacking on a good tree.
Bear is going now cause these humans have a slow internet connectin and its frustrating him. Bear has to be careful of getting frustrated cause then his Bear temper comes out and he breaks things.
Bear and The Moose have been on a walk in the woods for 5 nights now and we have come to where The Moose was born. It has been a very nice walk. Lots of trees and berries and fishes to eat and Bear even found some honey. Now that we are in The Mooses homeland there are lots of human campers again and that of course means human treats and beers for Bear to drink and eat. Bear likes that. The Moose is very happy. Bear told him that we're going on a long camping trip and we are meeting the man and girl at the end of it. Bear told him that the long camping trip without the humans and no tent is part of The Moose growing up into a grown up moose and it will make his stubs grow into big antlers like he wants. This makes The Moose happy.
The Moose has been having lots of memories on the walk since its the same walk he made when he was a new moose on the way to live with the humans in the house. He has met lots of the animals that helped him eat and find his way on the first walk --- other mooses and deers and squirrels and ground hogs and beavers and otters and the stinky animals and the spikey back animals. The other animals all tell him stories from when they met. Sometimes The Moose remembers, sometimes he doesn't, sometimes The Moose gets confused, sometimes happy and sometimes sad, but he's always fine after snacking on a good tree.
Bear is going now cause these humans have a slow internet connectin and its frustrating him. Bear has to be careful of getting frustrated cause then his Bear temper comes out and he breaks things.
The Fish Died
Bear is a bit sad today because the humans pet fish died.
This is a picture of the fish before it stopped swimming. The man and the girl taught us that the animals are only allowed to hunt animals and forage for berries and trees outside of the house. Inside plants and fishes are for humans to look at. Bear and The Moose both had problems at first eating the trees indoors, and Lynx had ate one of the fishes. But now the animals know that there's better foods in the white box for us to eat.
So Bear has become attached to the fish since he's been protecting it from the other animals when they're new to the house. So Bear is sad that it died.
Bear thinks that it knew that we were all moving to a new house and it didn't want to move again, so it got tired and stopped moving. Bear would have put it in a bowl and brought it on the walk with Bear and The Moose, but now its dead.
The man and Bear said some nice things about the fish (something the humans seem to enjoy doing when something dies) and then we put it in the white bowl and sent it wherever the poop goes. We didn't tell The Moose cause it would all be a bit too much for him.
Tomorrow Bear and The Moose will start our walk to the new house. Bear has the directions from Lynx. The man is going tomorrow too. He has our disguises so we can use them in the new house. Bear is going to explain what is happening to The Moose now.
This is a picture of the fish before it stopped swimming. The man and the girl taught us that the animals are only allowed to hunt animals and forage for berries and trees outside of the house. Inside plants and fishes are for humans to look at. Bear and The Moose both had problems at first eating the trees indoors, and Lynx had ate one of the fishes. But now the animals know that there's better foods in the white box for us to eat.
So Bear has become attached to the fish since he's been protecting it from the other animals when they're new to the house. So Bear is sad that it died.
Bear thinks that it knew that we were all moving to a new house and it didn't want to move again, so it got tired and stopped moving. Bear would have put it in a bowl and brought it on the walk with Bear and The Moose, but now its dead.
The man and Bear said some nice things about the fish (something the humans seem to enjoy doing when something dies) and then we put it in the white bowl and sent it wherever the poop goes. We didn't tell The Moose cause it would all be a bit too much for him.
Tomorrow Bear and The Moose will start our walk to the new house. Bear has the directions from Lynx. The man is going tomorrow too. He has our disguises so we can use them in the new house. Bear is going to explain what is happening to The Moose now.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Lynx Update
Today Bear dressed The Moose up like a great dane dog and took him for a walk in the park. Moose likes to get out and eat some trees in the daytime sometimes too, but has to be careful not to give himself away cause great dane dogs don't eat trees so if he eats too many the humans will become suspicious of his disguise.
Walks in the park also give Bear a good chance to talk to the squirrels. They have received news through the squirrel network that Lynx has almost arrived in our new home. His progress has been slowed cause there's lots of people there and its harder for him to lynx around without being seen and shot by the humans. Lynx doesn't mind moving slower cause that gives him time to further consolidate his land holding and hunt different flavored rabbits.
Lynx sent directions through the squirrel network of the safe path through the woods that he has found for Bear to take The Moose through to the new home. He made sure that there's lots of fishing waters and tasty trees for Bear and The Moose to eat. He even found some honey spots for Bear. Bear used a marker to write the directions on The Moose's back so Bear wouldn't forget them.
Lynx also sent a message through the squirrel network that the path goes through where The Moose is from. All the animals there know the story of The Moose. The Moose was born next to a human highway and his mamma got confused after he came out and ran into a car and dies. Lots of the animals felt bad for The Moose so they helped him find the way to a place they had heard about where a nice man and girl took care of animals. They knew that the Moose would die if he stayed alone where he was born without a mamma. So they showed him what mooses eat and which way to walk to get to the man and girl's house in a city. The closer he got, the more the animals in the woods knew of the man and girl.
It took The Moose a long time to walk there. When he arrived the girl had to take lots of care of him, and Bear wasn't allowed to give him any beers. Only milk and trees. Bear taught him the human house rules about not eating the indoor trees and peeing in the white water bowl, but not drinking out of it.
Lots of the animals that helped him thought he would die first cause he was so small and lost. They had a pool organized so they could bet food things on where and when The Moose would die. Some of the animals were a bit upset when they heard that The Moose had made it cause they lost their bets, but they were happy at the same time that The Moose had lived. They are all very excited to see The Moose again.
The Moose doesn't remember very much of his walk in the woods cause he was small and lost and hungry, but Bear thinks he might remember some things in the animal part of his think box when he sees the places again.
Bear is excited about the long woods walk comming up. Bear will tell The Moose that they are going to go on a big forrage trip soon. First Bear has to organize his finances so that the EI humans will still give the credit card humans emails so he can keep buying the beers in the new house. The humans always need so many emails for things.
Walks in the park also give Bear a good chance to talk to the squirrels. They have received news through the squirrel network that Lynx has almost arrived in our new home. His progress has been slowed cause there's lots of people there and its harder for him to lynx around without being seen and shot by the humans. Lynx doesn't mind moving slower cause that gives him time to further consolidate his land holding and hunt different flavored rabbits.
Lynx sent directions through the squirrel network of the safe path through the woods that he has found for Bear to take The Moose through to the new home. He made sure that there's lots of fishing waters and tasty trees for Bear and The Moose to eat. He even found some honey spots for Bear. Bear used a marker to write the directions on The Moose's back so Bear wouldn't forget them.
Lynx also sent a message through the squirrel network that the path goes through where The Moose is from. All the animals there know the story of The Moose. The Moose was born next to a human highway and his mamma got confused after he came out and ran into a car and dies. Lots of the animals felt bad for The Moose so they helped him find the way to a place they had heard about where a nice man and girl took care of animals. They knew that the Moose would die if he stayed alone where he was born without a mamma. So they showed him what mooses eat and which way to walk to get to the man and girl's house in a city. The closer he got, the more the animals in the woods knew of the man and girl.
It took The Moose a long time to walk there. When he arrived the girl had to take lots of care of him, and Bear wasn't allowed to give him any beers. Only milk and trees. Bear taught him the human house rules about not eating the indoor trees and peeing in the white water bowl, but not drinking out of it.
Lots of the animals that helped him thought he would die first cause he was so small and lost. They had a pool organized so they could bet food things on where and when The Moose would die. Some of the animals were a bit upset when they heard that The Moose had made it cause they lost their bets, but they were happy at the same time that The Moose had lived. They are all very excited to see The Moose again.
The Moose doesn't remember very much of his walk in the woods cause he was small and lost and hungry, but Bear thinks he might remember some things in the animal part of his think box when he sees the places again.
Bear is excited about the long woods walk comming up. Bear will tell The Moose that they are going to go on a big forrage trip soon. First Bear has to organize his finances so that the EI humans will still give the credit card humans emails so he can keep buying the beers in the new house. The humans always need so many emails for things.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
A Big Night Out On The Woods
Bear has been having more and more trouble distracting The Moose so he won't notice that the Girl and Lynx and Cappy are all gone. The tent is gone too. The Moose would be upset if he knew all this so Bear has been playing games like hide and seek with the Cappy Bear and giving him challenges like updating his Facebook page for when he gets tired of watching the picture box. It takes The Moose a very long time to operate the computer with those hoofs and lack of human science know how. The Moose also doesn't have the best memory so the sign in portion of the computer pages is a big challenge for him.
So Bear decided last night that Bear and The Moose needed a night out running in the woods, with lots of beers of course. So Bear and The Moose waited until dark and ran to the woods. We had a great time foraging and Bear fished and clawed trees and shit in the woods. Lots of fun. The Moose ate trees and ran around and got lost and got scared of deers he thought he smelled. Then he poked at a trutle for a couple hours. And Bear drank lots of beers. He shared with The Moose cause The Moose is always entertaining when he is into the beers; falling over and running into trees on those skinny little legs.
Bear fell over lots too. Then he found some human garbage cans and foraged in them for snacks. Bear doesn't normally forage in the garbage cans much anymore, but when Bear gets into the Beers he gets hungry and humans always throw out lots of good smelling things, so Bear got some good snacks. The Moose doesn't like the garbage as much cause he just likes to eat trees and theres lots of them around for foraging.
Then Bear made Bear noises and scared some deers, cause deers are easy to scare and Bear needs to keep them away from The Moose cause they can kill The Moose with their parisites. Then Bear had a nap. Bear woke up to The Moose licking his face cause The Moose had woken up first and wanted to go back to the house so he could watch Regis and Kelly on the picture box.
It was a fun night.
So Bear decided last night that Bear and The Moose needed a night out running in the woods, with lots of beers of course. So Bear and The Moose waited until dark and ran to the woods. We had a great time foraging and Bear fished and clawed trees and shit in the woods. Lots of fun. The Moose ate trees and ran around and got lost and got scared of deers he thought he smelled. Then he poked at a trutle for a couple hours. And Bear drank lots of beers. He shared with The Moose cause The Moose is always entertaining when he is into the beers; falling over and running into trees on those skinny little legs.
Bear fell over lots too. Then he found some human garbage cans and foraged in them for snacks. Bear doesn't normally forage in the garbage cans much anymore, but when Bear gets into the Beers he gets hungry and humans always throw out lots of good smelling things, so Bear got some good snacks. The Moose doesn't like the garbage as much cause he just likes to eat trees and theres lots of them around for foraging.
Then Bear made Bear noises and scared some deers, cause deers are easy to scare and Bear needs to keep them away from The Moose cause they can kill The Moose with their parisites. Then Bear had a nap. Bear woke up to The Moose licking his face cause The Moose had woken up first and wanted to go back to the house so he could watch Regis and Kelly on the picture box.
It was a fun night.
Monday, September 1, 2008
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