Water Bear

The internet machine told Bear about another type of bear today. Internet calls it a water bear. Bear isn't sure about this kind of bear. Its tiny, even tinier than the girl or Cappy, and that's pretty little. And it has lots of funny extra paws.

Internet says that water bears are tough ass, maybe even tougher then Bear. Internet says water bear can live anywhere, even this place the internet calls space where there isn't any food or air or fishes or berries or beers or anything and its cold. And water bears can live in these vacuum things and in ray things and this radiation thing without having any fur. Bear isn't sure what any of those places are but the internet seems impressed by water bear living there, so Bear is too cause the internet seems to know a lot.

Bear is impressed with this new bear even though it looks funny.

Think! New Moonwalking Bear Advert! Awareness Test!

Bear is practicing his moonwalk now

Lynx Update

For that human who regularly reads Bear's blog, you will remember that Bear got very upset with a group of human special agents who kidnapped and poked a little black bear cub; What is wrong with the humans!!!!! Bear talked to Lynx about the incident and Lynx has gone to this Louisiana place to free the kidnapped bear cub.

Today when Bear was in the woods that the humans build Bear talked to some of Bears squirrel friends. The squirrels are always in constant communication over the squirrel network and they know everything that happens in the woods.

The squirrels told Bear that Lynx is making good progress. He is in the mountains close to where Cappy came from which is apparently getting close to this Louisiana place. Bear doesn't know where any of these places are, but the squirrels say that Lynx is making good time, and squirrels are rarely wrong so Bear believes them. They drew Bear a map:

The squirrels told Bear that Lynx has made friends with two mountain lion brothers on his journey. Lynx is good at making friends when he's in one of his social moods.

Bear hasn't met any mountain lions before cause the humans have killed all of the ones who used to live in Fundy, but he has heard about them and Bear knows that they're tough-ass, some say even more tough-ass then Bear. Bear found a picture, see. Plus the mountain lion brothers are super sneaky like Lynx is. The perfect animals to help on Lynx's mission.

The squirrels told Bear that these mountain lion brothers want to help Lynx in his mission because the mountain lion brothers are upset with the humans just like Bear because some hillbillies shot their mama mountain lion. Bear didn't know what a hillbilly was. The squirrels explained to Bear that hillbillies are a kind of humans. Bear didn't know this, but the squirrels say that just like there are black bears and albino bears, there are different kinds of humans too. Bear understands being mad at humans when they shoot your mama.

The mountain lion brothers know a pack of red foxes who live in Louisiana. The squirrels say that the red fox pack will be able to help Lynx and the mountain lion brothers find the kidnapped bear cub and set him free. Bear will keep everybody informed

Bear's day

Today Bear woke up with a terrible head ache. Bear got into lots of beers last night and it made his head hurt today. So Bear slept in. Then Bear had a swim in the big blue water bowl in the house. That made Bear feel better.

Then Bear took Cappy out to meet the man and girl in the woods that the humans have made in the city. Cappy wasn't feeling good today cause he doesn't like the cold cause he was meant to live in a warm place so he doesn't have any warm fur. Cappy had a warm swim in the big blue water bowl with Bear and then he felt better so we went to the woods to play with the man and girl. Bear used his GPS (Global Positioning Snout) to find them. Bear's GPS is much more accurate than these GPS science things that the humans spend lots of credit card emails on as long as the man and girl don't get in a car of the big shiny under ground cars that everybody travels on here. Bear likes his GPS better and gets to spend his credit card emails on beers and foods instead.

Bear and Cappy went for a swim in a big lake in the woods. Then some humans got mad and yelled at Bear and Cappy so we ran and hid. Cappy doesn't get scared when cause he knows that Bear or Lynx are tough and can protect him. Cappy was cold so the girl gave him a scarf and hat and carried him in her handbag like he loves to do. Bear found a better stream to play in where there weren't many humans and played in it. Unfortunately no fishes for Bear to catch so Bear had to eat some berries that he found. Then Bear left the woods and found one of the humans with the shiny carts and got lots of food from him. Bear loves the humans with the shiny carts and the foods.

Bear wants his beer credit card

The internet machine science has told Bear more about this Stearns Bear. Bear already doesn't like this Sterns Bear cause it is using Bear's likeness without paying Bear any beer credit card royalties like the internet has told Bear he is entitled to. This Stearns Bear doesn't get on the favorite type of bear list cause its nobody's favorite bear. The internet has told Bear that since Bear got mad at this Stearns Bear lots of other people have agreed with Bear and are mad at this Stearns Bear now too. Now the Stearns Bear is givin the other humans that are mad at it 27000000 credit card emails. Bear isn't so good at this science but he knows that's enough for a good weekend in the beers. Bear wants his cut. Stearns Bear, you can make the credit card email out to "Bear". Thank you.

What is wrong with the humans!!!!!

The internet machine told Bear about this upsetting story about secret agents kidnapping baby black bears and doing horrible sciencie things to him and letting a dog yell at him. The internet even had pictures:


What the fuck is wrong with the humans that they have to get secret special agents to do this to little bears. Would the humans like it if the bear secret special agents put them in little rusty cages and let dogs bark at them when all they really wanted to do is have a snack and drink some beers.

Bear has talked to Lynx about this and Lynx has gone to this Louisiana place to free the bear. Lynx is good at finding funny places like this Louisiana and helping animals just like he did with Cappy. Bear told him to give these stupid special agents a clawing.

Bear needs to get into some beers now.

Who is this Bear?

Who is this Paddington Bear? Is Paddington his name like Bear is Bears? or is this a new type of Bear that Bear didn't know about until the internet told him today? To be safe Bear has put the Paddington Bear on the types of Bears list on Bear's blog so that his reader can make this decision for him.



The Paddington Bear appears to have a clever disguise just like Bear does for going out in public. Bear likes his hat a lot. And Bear thinks that Bear would like a cary box like that too.

The internet says the Paddington Bear is from another country and likes marmite. Bear doesn't know what this marmite is but he's going to get the girl to help him find some when she gets home.

Bear likes this Paddington Bear.

Close Call

Bear had a small incident with some humans today. Bear left the house to go to the store to get some beers this morning to have with his breakfast and he found the whole street outside the house was full of big camping cars. The big camping cars were just like the big camping cars that the older humans use in Fundy when they don't have the little tepees that the younger humans and The Moose like so much. Bear knows that these humans always had better foods and beers than the tepee humans.

Bear didn't know that the humans in this new city camp in the city like the humans in the old city used to do in the woods. And the humans had lots of food out just like they do when they camp in the woods. So Bear used what Lynx has taught him about urban stealth hunting skills and went to steal some of the food just like Bear does with the campers in the woods. But these humans were much more alert and less drunk than the humans in the woods are and yelled at Bear for taking the food and chased him down the street.

They weren't scared of Bear cause Bear had his human disguise on. In the woods Bear doesn't wear a human disguise so the humans run away from Bear and Bear just has to remember to eat as much as he can and run away before the humans come back with guns and shoot Bear. But in the city if the humans find out that Bear is a bear they will shoot him right away, so Bear ran and hid.

So Bear has learned that the humans in the new city camp in the city and eat food but don't get into the beers and are hard to get food from. Bear still has lots to learn about these humans and their ways in this new city.

Dancing Bear

Bear isn't sure if this is a real bear like Bear is, but Bear is very impressed with his dancing moves and thinks this is a catchy tune

Bear vs. Bull on Wall Street

Apparently this market used to belong to bulls. Bear found this video where the bull tries to take the market back from the bears.

Bear thinks this fight is a bit unfair. First the bull starts with a cheap shot. The bear was obviously expecting a tribute from the bull after having won the market, but instead the bull hits the bear in the head. Then the bull his the bear in the balls which is never nice in any fight.

Then the humans put gloves on the bear which take away his beast fighting tool; his claws. The bull gets gloves too, but bulls have hoofs, and anybody who has been watching the moose type his blog knows that hoofs are useless for typing and fighting. The humans should have gloved the bulls horns for it to be a fair fight.

Bear still thinks the bear won this fight. and its always funny to watch bulls chase red things. Bear and his brother used to do this to bulls back in Fundy. Its like the bulls can't see Bear if there's something red in his hand. Bear and his brother used to have hours of fun in Fundy making bulls and cows chase red things Bear and his brother would steal from the humans. Sometimes Bear and his brother would push the bulls and cows over and watch them try to stand up again cause its really hard for the cows and bulls to do, not like bears.

Then Mama Bear told Bear and his brother that it wasn't nice to do that to bulls and cows and that we should be friends with them. Bear felt bad. Bear and his brother stopped pushing over the cows and bulls and making them chase red things and apologized to them and became friends.

But after seeing how this bull fights, Bear doesn't feel so bad about his childhood pranks. Bear will take the high road and give the other bulls and cows a chance before he starts pushing them all over again. Bear thinks it might just be this one bull who let all of the power of controlling all of the fish in the market go to his head and became a dick bull.

Bear still isn't sure where this girl thinks she is going to go swimming.

Bear Market

Bear isn't sure what this is all about or why the humans are in swim suits when they're in the city and Bear knows for sure that there aren't any good places to swim or fish where they are. But Bear is happy that bears have apparently taken over this 'market'.

Bear hopes that there is lots of fish to eat at this market that Bear owns now cause the market close to the house only has vegetables. But Bear hasn't been able to locate the market of this other bear who has claimed the market in the name of all bears everywhere. The internet talks about it lots and how the bears own it and this sterns bear, but never tells Bear where it is so he can go collect his fishes.

Bear gets sleepy and hungry

Bear has been out eating a lot. Bear remembers this happening lots. When it gets cold and the leaves fall of the trees Bear gets very hungry. Bear has been out in the city looking for fishes. Bear has big fishes craving. Sometimes Bear can smell out a place in the city when there's lots of men putting fishes off boats onto ice. But there's lots of humans around so its hard for Bear to get any fishes and Bear has been saving is credit cards for beer money cause the beers in the new city are expensive.

Since its hard to find fishes to hunt for free in the new city Bear has been pretending to be blind and dressing The Moose as a seeing eye moose so Bear is allowed to take The Moose on the train and Bear and The Moose go to a place called "upstate" (Bear doesn't understand where this is but there is still waters there with fishes in them for Bear to catch). So The Moose goes foraging in the woods and Bear gets some fishes until Bear is full and has a nap and then Bear and The Moose go home.

Bear is getting sleepy.