Sleepy.........

Bear doesn't know why, but Bear has made a den out of old newspapers and the man and the girls laundry in behind their couch. Bear has been getting so sleepy since it got cold out. Bear seems to remember this happening in the old house last year, but he isn't sure.

So sleepy, hard for Bear to stay awake to blog............. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz--grrr----zzzzz--grrrrrr----zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ADOPT A BEAR

The internet showed Bear this video about another bear who started living with humans and made friends with a dog (no moose cappybear or lynx though).

Bear likes this story. Bear isn't sure what happened to the colours in the video though, and the music is a bit strange.

Human Thanksgiving Day

The other day all the humans in the city didn't go to work for a special day. Bear found out from the internet that it was what the humans call Thanksgiving Day. Apparently the humans are happy that some other humans gave them this city and the white boxes full of food and cars and internet and pumpkins so the humans take a day to not go to work and they eat all day long instead. Bear loves this holiday.

To add to all the eating related fun the humans close off the streets so that some of the humans can get dressed up and walk down the street playing music and carrying giant versions of the characters Bear loves so much from the picture box without getting hit by those crazy yellow cars that drive so fast when Bear goes out walking. A man yelling at everybody said that this is called a macy parade. Bear isn't sure who this macy is but he thinks she's the one who made the white boxes full of food

Bear was especially happy that bears were well represented in this macy parade. Bear saw those building bears again. Even though Bear disagrees with these bears misleading humans as to how bears are really built, Bear is happy to see bears in the macy parade and not being shot. Bear took a picture see:

And Bear saw those funny Care Bears. Apparently they come down from their clowd city for this macy parade to spread happiness. You can see the grumpy one in the front. Bear didn't see the sleepy one --- he must have slept in; it was pretty early in the morning. Bear took a picture see:

The Moose and Cappy loved the macy parade. Bear loved the thanksgiving (eating). Bear thinks Lynx loved it all too although he wouldn't admit it.

Tribute to Bears

Bear was walking The Moose and Cappy in the fake woods the other day when he found this monument to bears. Bear has noticed that the humans normally like to make monuments for funny looking old humans or large birds or funny shapes that Bear has never seen before. And the internet has been telling Bear about a lot of anti-bear speciesim lately, so Bear was glad bears are appreciated, and that The Moose and Cappy could see that sometimes the humans like bears and make monuments to them instead of shooting us.

Masterbating Bear

This bear is funny

Black bear killed after it escapes owner's home

Don't worry, it wasn't Bear. Apparently Bear isn't as special as he thought. It looks like lots of people in this Ohio place like to keep bears too. The humans in charge appear to let the humans not in charge keep bears, but as Bear has learned and told the other animals, if the humans catch you outside without a good disguise, they'll shoot you;

Black bear killed after it escapes owner's home

Bear Fishing

The man made a video of Bear going for a fish.

As you can see from my blog profile (its right over there, on your right paw side) Bear is a seasonal fisherman. For years Bear just caught fish and ate them when they were around, but then he found out that the humans would give him money when the fish weren't around. Bear isn't sure why, but he loves his Employment Insurance.

From the forms that Bear had to fill out to get his Employment Insurance he found out that there are lots of humans who fish sometimes too and get Employment Insurance the rest of the time -- so many of them that the humans have made Employment Insurance forms and don't notice when a black bear fills one out.

Bear has also noticed that although the humans love the fishes, they aren't very good as catching them. The use their Employment Insurance to buy all sorts of sticks and nets and hooks and clothes and boats and cages and make lots of internet blogs and put ads on the side of Bear's blog to get the fishes cause even though they have the useful opposable thumbs, they have no claws or jaws and they just don't seem very smart at getting the fishes. So Bear has decided to give the humans some fishes catching tips to go along with this instructional video that the man made to teach the humans how to catch fishes better:

1. Go to the woods. Bear has found that there are no fishes in the city (Bear would like to pause here and clairify that he is teaching humans how to catch fishes, as opposed to getting fishes. You see catching fishes means going to water and grabbing a fish with your teeth. Getting fishes means going to the white box or a store and giving another humans your Employment Insurance money and they give you a fish. This lesson is for catching fishes). If there are any they aren't good for eating, even for a bear. The funny man in the humans made woods with the stick at the water should take special note of this tip.

2. Find water. For catching fishes the water should be the type that has lots of fishes in it. This seems to be a hard part of the humans who seem to like to stand in water with sticks for hours where there are no fish. The humans need to smell the air better and listen to the clock in their brain to find when and where the fishes are.

3. Find a part of the water that is less deep. If it's not so deep, then the fishes have less water to hide in.

4. Find a fish. It should be big and slow and stupid looking. Again, humans don't seem very good at telling which fishes are big and slow and stupid. They seem to just try to get anything they can.

5. Follow the fish for a bit. This will help you learn how the fish is thinking and where it likes to swim. Humans normally just like to stand in one place, like they think that the fish is going to want to come over and make friends with them.

6. This is where fishing takes on a personal touch. Bear likes to just stick his head in the water (see video) and catch the fish. Other bears sometimes will swim with them for a bit. And other bears will use their paws to claw them around for a bit. This point seems to be the most hardest for the humans.

7. Find a good place on shore to hide from bigger bears and eat your fish. Bear knows that humans always like to put their food on a fire first. This is fine, but a bear might smell it and be too lazy to get his own fish and just come and take yours. You've been warned.

Now you humans are ready to go out and catch some fishes like a bear.

Lynx Update Part II

Bear was in the park with the Moose and Cappy today to get an update from the squirrels on Lynx's progress. Lynx of course has gone to Louisiana to free a bearnapped black bear cub that the internet told Bear about. Bear's loyal blog readers will remember that Lynx had teamed up with two mountain lion brothers and a red fox in his mission.

The squirrels had great news for Bear. The red fox had teamed up with his red fox pack and located the super secret compound of the humans special agents where they were holding the bearnapped black bear cub in the Louisiana place. The animals investigated and smelled and marked and claimed the area and hunted for rabbits together for a couple of days as animals do.

Then once the animal had properly claimed the area and had a good snack they set their plan into action. First Lynx used his claw to open the lock of the super secret compound (like he learned to do in the city to get into the house when the man and girl aren't home). Then the mountain lion pounced on the secret service guards and held them down. Then the foxes poked the humans in their bums with the sharp things that they poke the animals with that make them sleepy. Then Lynx freed the bearnapped bear cub from the tiny cage that the secret service humans were keeping him.

Then the mountain lions and Lynx measured the humans for no apparent reason and poked around in their mouths and pulled on their ears. Then the red foxes put collars on the humans necks (Bear will never understand the humans fixation on putting things around everything's neck). Then the mountain lions and Lynx took the humans into the middle of the woods and released them into their new habitat.

Then Lynx took the bear cub to some water and showed him how to fish the way Bear tried to teach Lynx how to fish so he could have some real bear food, not the crap that the secret service humans had been feeding him (Lynx wasn't so good at it cause he doesn't like to get his fur wet and his paws are small and his jaw is little--- Lynx is built for land hunting, not water hunting, but Bear is glad that Lynx found a use for the lession). A job well done by the animal team.

The squirrels told Bear that Lynx is headed home to the city now and the foxes have gone have gone back to their den in the woods. The red foxes told the mountain lions about a place with beautiful snow capped mountains and woods and lots of animals to hunt and lots of space for mountain lions to roam in a place called Colorado , so they were going there. And the mountian lions decided that they would take care of the bear until he was old enough to take care of himself.

Bear is happy

Caring Bears

Bear was reading about a group of bears called the Care Bears. Apparently they're a group of bears who have died their fur bright colors, painted hearts and flowers and such positive imagery on their bellies and run around spreading care and joy to the humans; except for one Care Bear who likes to sleep all the time and another who's grumpy all the time.


Bear thinks its nice that this group of bears are trying to spread joy and improve the bad image of bears that the humans seem to have of them. But these Care Bears also face bearism and anti-bearites like other bears, especially from one of the humans named No-heart. He must be friends with the Sarah Palin and Steven Colbert humans. Instead of using normal disguises like Bear uses they have chosen to hide in the clouds and travel to the city on rainbows.

Bear is going to find out how to ride these rainbows. Until then, good luck with your mission Care Bears. Bear thinks he'll be best friends with the sleepy one.

Bear has a snack

Internet has been telling Bear about some humans who think that they have wasted food boxes that are tougher than Bear is; "Bear vs Trash Cans; The Arms Race Continues". To show Internet and humans that Bear is tougher than any wasted food box that the humans can make, Bear got on a train and went to where they have these so called "bear-proof" wasted food boxes and Bear broke it and had a snack and The Moose taped it and Bear put it here, on Bear's blog.

Tiger and Bear Play

Bear just thought this was cute.

Bear likes interspecies play. Like bears and mooses and bears and lynxs and bears and capybaras and capybaras and lynxs and lynxs and mooses and capybaras.

Bear Having a Rest

Bear wanted a rest after a long day of fishing and eating berries. This type of bed is hard for Bear to get into, not like the bed in the house. But its very comfy once Bear is in place

Cougar vs Bear

Bear will call this one a tie

Black Bear v.s Cougar

In case you were wondering about how tough the mountain lions brothers that are with Lynx now on their way to Louisiana to free the kidnapped black bear cub, the internet showed Bear this video.

Mountain lion is pretty tough, but just like the bull, bear wins in the end. Bear wonders how the mountain lion would do against a water bear.

Water Bear

The internet machine told Bear about another type of bear today. Internet calls it a water bear. Bear isn't sure about this kind of bear. Its tiny, even tinier than the girl or Cappy, and that's pretty little. And it has lots of funny extra paws.

Internet says that water bears are tough ass, maybe even tougher then Bear. Internet says water bear can live anywhere, even this place the internet calls space where there isn't any food or air or fishes or berries or beers or anything and its cold. And water bears can live in these vacuum things and in ray things and this radiation thing without having any fur. Bear isn't sure what any of those places are but the internet seems impressed by water bear living there, so Bear is too cause the internet seems to know a lot.

Bear is impressed with this new bear even though it looks funny.

Think! New Moonwalking Bear Advert! Awareness Test!

Bear is practicing his moonwalk now

Lynx Update

For that human who regularly reads Bear's blog, you will remember that Bear got very upset with a group of human special agents who kidnapped and poked a little black bear cub; What is wrong with the humans!!!!! Bear talked to Lynx about the incident and Lynx has gone to this Louisiana place to free the kidnapped bear cub.

Today when Bear was in the woods that the humans build Bear talked to some of Bears squirrel friends. The squirrels are always in constant communication over the squirrel network and they know everything that happens in the woods.

The squirrels told Bear that Lynx is making good progress. He is in the mountains close to where Cappy came from which is apparently getting close to this Louisiana place. Bear doesn't know where any of these places are, but the squirrels say that Lynx is making good time, and squirrels are rarely wrong so Bear believes them. They drew Bear a map:

The squirrels told Bear that Lynx has made friends with two mountain lion brothers on his journey. Lynx is good at making friends when he's in one of his social moods.

Bear hasn't met any mountain lions before cause the humans have killed all of the ones who used to live in Fundy, but he has heard about them and Bear knows that they're tough-ass, some say even more tough-ass then Bear. Bear found a picture, see. Plus the mountain lion brothers are super sneaky like Lynx is. The perfect animals to help on Lynx's mission.

The squirrels told Bear that these mountain lion brothers want to help Lynx in his mission because the mountain lion brothers are upset with the humans just like Bear because some hillbillies shot their mama mountain lion. Bear didn't know what a hillbilly was. The squirrels explained to Bear that hillbillies are a kind of humans. Bear didn't know this, but the squirrels say that just like there are black bears and albino bears, there are different kinds of humans too. Bear understands being mad at humans when they shoot your mama.

The mountain lion brothers know a pack of red foxes who live in Louisiana. The squirrels say that the red fox pack will be able to help Lynx and the mountain lion brothers find the kidnapped bear cub and set him free. Bear will keep everybody informed

Bear's day

Today Bear woke up with a terrible head ache. Bear got into lots of beers last night and it made his head hurt today. So Bear slept in. Then Bear had a swim in the big blue water bowl in the house. That made Bear feel better.

Then Bear took Cappy out to meet the man and girl in the woods that the humans have made in the city. Cappy wasn't feeling good today cause he doesn't like the cold cause he was meant to live in a warm place so he doesn't have any warm fur. Cappy had a warm swim in the big blue water bowl with Bear and then he felt better so we went to the woods to play with the man and girl. Bear used his GPS (Global Positioning Snout) to find them. Bear's GPS is much more accurate than these GPS science things that the humans spend lots of credit card emails on as long as the man and girl don't get in a car of the big shiny under ground cars that everybody travels on here. Bear likes his GPS better and gets to spend his credit card emails on beers and foods instead.

Bear and Cappy went for a swim in a big lake in the woods. Then some humans got mad and yelled at Bear and Cappy so we ran and hid. Cappy doesn't get scared when cause he knows that Bear or Lynx are tough and can protect him. Cappy was cold so the girl gave him a scarf and hat and carried him in her handbag like he loves to do. Bear found a better stream to play in where there weren't many humans and played in it. Unfortunately no fishes for Bear to catch so Bear had to eat some berries that he found. Then Bear left the woods and found one of the humans with the shiny carts and got lots of food from him. Bear loves the humans with the shiny carts and the foods.

Bear wants his beer credit card

The internet machine science has told Bear more about this Stearns Bear. Bear already doesn't like this Sterns Bear cause it is using Bear's likeness without paying Bear any beer credit card royalties like the internet has told Bear he is entitled to. This Stearns Bear doesn't get on the favorite type of bear list cause its nobody's favorite bear. The internet has told Bear that since Bear got mad at this Stearns Bear lots of other people have agreed with Bear and are mad at this Stearns Bear now too. Now the Stearns Bear is givin the other humans that are mad at it 27000000 credit card emails. Bear isn't so good at this science but he knows that's enough for a good weekend in the beers. Bear wants his cut. Stearns Bear, you can make the credit card email out to "Bear". Thank you.

What is wrong with the humans!!!!!

The internet machine told Bear about this upsetting story about secret agents kidnapping baby black bears and doing horrible sciencie things to him and letting a dog yell at him. The internet even had pictures:


What the fuck is wrong with the humans that they have to get secret special agents to do this to little bears. Would the humans like it if the bear secret special agents put them in little rusty cages and let dogs bark at them when all they really wanted to do is have a snack and drink some beers.

Bear has talked to Lynx about this and Lynx has gone to this Louisiana place to free the bear. Lynx is good at finding funny places like this Louisiana and helping animals just like he did with Cappy. Bear told him to give these stupid special agents a clawing.

Bear needs to get into some beers now.

Who is this Bear?

Who is this Paddington Bear? Is Paddington his name like Bear is Bears? or is this a new type of Bear that Bear didn't know about until the internet told him today? To be safe Bear has put the Paddington Bear on the types of Bears list on Bear's blog so that his reader can make this decision for him.



The Paddington Bear appears to have a clever disguise just like Bear does for going out in public. Bear likes his hat a lot. And Bear thinks that Bear would like a cary box like that too.

The internet says the Paddington Bear is from another country and likes marmite. Bear doesn't know what this marmite is but he's going to get the girl to help him find some when she gets home.

Bear likes this Paddington Bear.

Close Call

Bear had a small incident with some humans today. Bear left the house to go to the store to get some beers this morning to have with his breakfast and he found the whole street outside the house was full of big camping cars. The big camping cars were just like the big camping cars that the older humans use in Fundy when they don't have the little tepees that the younger humans and The Moose like so much. Bear knows that these humans always had better foods and beers than the tepee humans.

Bear didn't know that the humans in this new city camp in the city like the humans in the old city used to do in the woods. And the humans had lots of food out just like they do when they camp in the woods. So Bear used what Lynx has taught him about urban stealth hunting skills and went to steal some of the food just like Bear does with the campers in the woods. But these humans were much more alert and less drunk than the humans in the woods are and yelled at Bear for taking the food and chased him down the street.

They weren't scared of Bear cause Bear had his human disguise on. In the woods Bear doesn't wear a human disguise so the humans run away from Bear and Bear just has to remember to eat as much as he can and run away before the humans come back with guns and shoot Bear. But in the city if the humans find out that Bear is a bear they will shoot him right away, so Bear ran and hid.

So Bear has learned that the humans in the new city camp in the city and eat food but don't get into the beers and are hard to get food from. Bear still has lots to learn about these humans and their ways in this new city.

Dancing Bear

Bear isn't sure if this is a real bear like Bear is, but Bear is very impressed with his dancing moves and thinks this is a catchy tune

Bear vs. Bull on Wall Street

Apparently this market used to belong to bulls. Bear found this video where the bull tries to take the market back from the bears.

Bear thinks this fight is a bit unfair. First the bull starts with a cheap shot. The bear was obviously expecting a tribute from the bull after having won the market, but instead the bull hits the bear in the head. Then the bull his the bear in the balls which is never nice in any fight.

Then the humans put gloves on the bear which take away his beast fighting tool; his claws. The bull gets gloves too, but bulls have hoofs, and anybody who has been watching the moose type his blog knows that hoofs are useless for typing and fighting. The humans should have gloved the bulls horns for it to be a fair fight.

Bear still thinks the bear won this fight. and its always funny to watch bulls chase red things. Bear and his brother used to do this to bulls back in Fundy. Its like the bulls can't see Bear if there's something red in his hand. Bear and his brother used to have hours of fun in Fundy making bulls and cows chase red things Bear and his brother would steal from the humans. Sometimes Bear and his brother would push the bulls and cows over and watch them try to stand up again cause its really hard for the cows and bulls to do, not like bears.

Then Mama Bear told Bear and his brother that it wasn't nice to do that to bulls and cows and that we should be friends with them. Bear felt bad. Bear and his brother stopped pushing over the cows and bulls and making them chase red things and apologized to them and became friends.

But after seeing how this bull fights, Bear doesn't feel so bad about his childhood pranks. Bear will take the high road and give the other bulls and cows a chance before he starts pushing them all over again. Bear thinks it might just be this one bull who let all of the power of controlling all of the fish in the market go to his head and became a dick bull.

Bear still isn't sure where this girl thinks she is going to go swimming.

Bear Market

Bear isn't sure what this is all about or why the humans are in swim suits when they're in the city and Bear knows for sure that there aren't any good places to swim or fish where they are. But Bear is happy that bears have apparently taken over this 'market'.

Bear hopes that there is lots of fish to eat at this market that Bear owns now cause the market close to the house only has vegetables. But Bear hasn't been able to locate the market of this other bear who has claimed the market in the name of all bears everywhere. The internet talks about it lots and how the bears own it and this sterns bear, but never tells Bear where it is so he can go collect his fishes.

Bear gets sleepy and hungry

Bear has been out eating a lot. Bear remembers this happening lots. When it gets cold and the leaves fall of the trees Bear gets very hungry. Bear has been out in the city looking for fishes. Bear has big fishes craving. Sometimes Bear can smell out a place in the city when there's lots of men putting fishes off boats onto ice. But there's lots of humans around so its hard for Bear to get any fishes and Bear has been saving is credit cards for beer money cause the beers in the new city are expensive.

Since its hard to find fishes to hunt for free in the new city Bear has been pretending to be blind and dressing The Moose as a seeing eye moose so Bear is allowed to take The Moose on the train and Bear and The Moose go to a place called "upstate" (Bear doesn't understand where this is but there is still waters there with fishes in them for Bear to catch). So The Moose goes foraging in the woods and Bear gets some fishes until Bear is full and has a nap and then Bear and The Moose go home.

Bear is getting sleepy.