Bear Growing Up Part 3

When Bear was a cub and still lived in the woods Bear loved to smell things, and after smelling, Bear would normally eat things. Sometimes they tasted bad, sometimes good, sometimes they came back up Bear's mouth, sometimes they made Bear's bum hurt when he pooped.

Once Bear was smelling around and he discovered a funny new animal with spiky fur-- but not a fury bear. Bear smelled him and started chasing him, but then he shot Bear in the snout with his fur. It hurt lots. He looked like this on the side.

Bear couldn't get the spiky fur out of his snout -- again problems with the lack of opposable thumbs. So Bear made friends with some other little furry animals that didn't have spiky fur to shoot into Bear's snout. They called themselves the squirrels. They had tiny little digits for opening the nuts that they ate. They were little and furry with bushy tails. Bear liked them. Bear made an agreement with them that he wouldn't eat them or steal any of the nuts they hid in trees and they would take the spiky fur out of Bear's snout.

The squirrels took the spiky fur out of his snout and Bear made friends with them. And Bear learned the smell of the spiky fur animals and learned to stay away from them. Mamma told Bear that they are just nervous and shy and only do that cause bears are big and scare them. Since they are only little its the only way they can stop other animals from eating them. Bear understands now.

Bear still talks to the squirrels when he goes in the woods. The squirrels can even run around in the city without the humans shooting them. Humans seem to like squirrels more than bears for some reason. Bear doesn't like speciesism.

The squirrels have a good network cause there are so many of them and they're so quick at running and climbing, so they're good at telling Bear things, like where to find campers with beers and where rivers with good fishing are. The squirrels can speak bird too and birds can go anywhere cause they can fly over things. So the squirrels know lots. Bear talks to them lots to get updates, especially when Lynx goes on his adventures far away. He went across the big water once on a boat to try to find the girl when she went on a vacation and he missed her.

Now the squirrels tell Bear that Lynx is close to where Moose is from, in Appalachian. Lynx used to eat the squirrels if he got hungry, but since we got the white box in the house, Lynx only hunts rabbits and sees how they're useful for keeping in touch.

Bear had further problems smelling animals when Bear found the animal with the white stiped down its back that shot its poop at Bear and made Bear stink. Mamma made Bear sleep outside the den for 2 weeks after that cause Bear smelled so bad. Mamma explained that they were just like the spikey fur animals and that was their way of not getting eaten. Bear thought this was funny, why weren't they just be big with claws instead of running around the woods smelling bad?

Bear learned there are lots of funny things in the woods that don't make lots of sense to Bear. Even more in the city with the humans.

Bear Growing Up Part 2

Bear remembers the first time he met humans when he was still living in the woods with mamma bear and brother. Bear and brother used to play in the woods all day long -- wrestling, climbing trees (bear is too big to climb most tress now, like humans are), marking territory, eating berries, fishing, napping, clawing trees -- all the fun bear things.

Soon bear and brother were big enough for mamma to let us explore on our own. One day we met some other bears who were a bit older. They took Bear and brother to the part of the woods where mamma had told us not to visit. It was where the humans come to spend a night in the woods in funny little mini houses they put up in the woods. Bear knows that those are tents now. Moose loves the tents. Bears had to be careful cause the humans cleared all the trees in some parts and moved around in huge fast boxes together. Bears can be hurt if the boxes hit them. Now Bear knows that the boxes are called cars and Bear can drive in one with the car card that the humans gave him.

The humans would make their food warm with fire before they eat it, and it would make smells that make bears stop thinking. But the older bears showed Bear and brother that the humans will shoot us if we try to eat their food while they were eating. So we learned to wait till they were napping and would take their food then. Sometimes the humans would hang their food up high, or put it in boxes that are hard to open without opposable thumbs, but Bear could climb and break, so we would eat the funnest foods that Bear and brother had never smelled before.

The older bears showed Bear and brother that the humans drank thinks other than the river. Bear thought this was strange at first, but the food on the fire and the moving boxes and little houses and only living in the woods for a night was strange too and the humans seemed to like it all, so Bear let it go. The humans would put their special drinks in a special box that was the hardest to open, but after a while we could break the box. The drinks were in special cans and glass and the other bears called it beers. Bears could only drink the ones in cans, cause we would just break the bottles and spill the drinks

Bear and brother drank some beers with the other bears. Then Bear felt funny and spinny and fell over. Then the food Bear had eaten came out again. Then Bear ate it again. Then Bear had a nap. Bear had a hurt on his head when he woke up. Bear liked the beers.

Mamma wasn't very happy with brother and Bear when the other mamma bears told her about drinking the humans beers, but it was fun for Bear and brother so we would sneak to the place where the humans lived in the woods for a night and wait for them to nap so we could get foods and beers. It was fun.

Bear Blog

Bear is very happy today. The number with lots of 0's finds Bear's blog now when Bear asks it to. Before it just found lots of things about other bear stories and this stock market thing. Now the number with lots of 0's finds Bear's blog. Bear hopes this means that Bear's blog will be famous like the hilton boy that the girl likes so much, and then Bear will be famous too and make lots of credit card numbers for beers.

Bear is having trouble getting money from the Stearns bear, and the man told him that the new city makes everything cost more on the credit card. So Bear wants to get more money for human stuff and the internet tells him that he can get money from his blog.

Bear needs to find out what this stock market place is. It seems to sell bears and man cows. Bear only knows the Saturday market where the hippie humans hang out and where Bear can get fishes if he wakes up early enough. The internet seems to like this stock market more than the Saturday market though. Bear dosn't like the idea of buying other bears though, and the idea of selling other bears upsets Bear a bit. Maybe Bear and Lynx should go free all the other bears and man cows. Or maybe Bear can get the sue girl to get money from the stock market for Bear so he can get more numbers on his credit card.

Lynx Has Gone

Lynx got tired of watching the man being sad around the house so he's left to go to the new city with the girl. He says he wanted to go and consolidate his empire and territorial holdings. He's really just running around hunting rabbits and peeing on everything. Bear thinks that he really just misses Cappy. Lynx acts tough, but Bear knows that he has motherly feelings for Cappy since he rescued him from the cage.

Bear told Moose that everyone is playing hide and seek with him. Last time Cappy and him played hide and seek it took Moose 3 days to find Cappy. Bear will let him look for a couple more days, then Bear will give Moose a beer and he'll forget. We made a nest for him out of the girls left over clothes for him to sleep in at night.

Moose Highway

Moose can't even drive.

moose highway

Bear doesn't like traffic, why no bear highway? Moose can't even hold the car wheel with those hoofs.

Bear Suit

This doesn't look anything like a Bear.

Bear Suit

Who are these Bears?

What's up with this bunch?

Stearns Bear

Bear has been looking at this internet for Bear stuff for the Bear blog, and Bear keeps finding stuff on this stearns bear. At first Bear thought the stearns was a type of bear, like albino or big and brown. Then Bear found out that it was just a bunch of humans calling themselves bear but not even costuming like bears or acting like bears. The don't even fish or nap all winter.

This upsets Bear cause Bear can't just go out calling himself a human but not dressing and buying things with credit cards like humans or he would be shot.

The internet tells Bear that Bear has to sue them for using Bear's image and not paying him any royalties. Apparently then these stearns humans would have to start to pay my credit card instead of the EI humans. Bear is going to find out who sue is and how she can get my credit card paid off.

Gone

The girl is gone now. Bear is in charge. The man just lies in bed crying and smelling her pillow. Bear likes to smell things, but this is a bit excessive.

Bear hopes the man will get himself together soon and go to the liquor store, cause Bear is out of beers and too lazy to put on the costume.

Lynx says that Cappy got into one of the girls bags and went with the girl. Bear hopes he has a nice trip and doesn't have to long without snacks. Lynx gave him a corn for travel snacks. Lynx knows well about travel snacks.

The girl left Moose food treats. Moose has been trying to get the food treat bag open since noon. Humans are funny about putting things in boxes that animals can't open. Lynx will use his claws to open it for Moose soon, but not for a couple more hours cause watching him run around the house poking it with his dull hoofs and gnawing at it with his herbivore tooths with no success is far too entertaining. It might be less entertaining soon if the man doesn't get Bear some beer. Bear is going to go give him a bite soon.

Big Changes

Bear is sad today. The Human girl we live with is going to an even bigger city. Moose is inconsolable. Cappy keeps trying to hide in her human carry boxes. Lynx is marking lots to claim her stuff.

Bear is concerned for the man. Bear isn't sure he is trained to feed and clean himself. Bear might have to be in charge.

The girl promises that we will all come to the bigger city with the man soon.

Animals are all excited to see a new territory. Lynx especially enjoys expanding his territory. He went to the other side of the big water on a giant boat once. He says there aren't many lynxes where we are going, so he will be king shit for miles along the coast. Moose and Cappy are just confused. Bear will tell them we're going on a giant camping trip and they'll forget everything.

The man tells Bear that there's a giant woods right in the city where the animals can run at night. And animals can try out new easier to put on disguises (hard to dress Bear with no opposable claws)in the big city cause there are so many people and lots of them wear disguises that no one will notice us. He says there's lots of new smells for Bear too. Bear loves new smells. And its by the coast, so there's still lots of work for seasonal fisherbears.

Golfing Bear

This was a close call. Bear had started golfing in Bear's spare time. Bear can hold the club between his claws, and Bear got a good disguise for golfing. But Bear lost his temper and went a bit animal. Bear composed himself in the woods, hiding, then Bear got back to the car in the parking lot and drove home. Bear has since quit golfing.

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>>//Rooters Toronto:

>>//
News Feed August 7, 2008 13:12:00

An angry adolescent black bear ran amuck today on the 9th hole of
a golf and country club just outside of the central business district,
frightening a number of golfers. One man has been reported missing.

"He just came out of nowhere, throwing clubs from his mouth, and tearing
apart a golf bag with his claws. Then he looked at us and ran into the
woods" said John P Townigonian, who was preparing hit his tee shot when
the bear appeared.

One member of the foursome disappeared just before the sighting and has
not been seen since. All that is known about the unidentified man is
that his name is Beau, he comes from the New Brunswick area, he's 5'5",
about 120lbs ,has a thick dark beard and he works seasonally as a
fisherman. "He hit a terrible tee shot into the woods on the 9th, just
before all the ruckus began. Then he just disappeared. We never saw him
again".

Parks and Wildlife rangers were called to the scene and have set bear
traps but have found no sign of the bear outside of the golf course, "We
tracked him to the parking lot, then the trail just ended", said the
ranger.

As for the missing golfer no signs of an attack have been found. "He
probably just got scared and ran off. He was just paired with us today,
nobody knew him. He was some drunk though" said Townigonian.

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Animal House Rules

When Bear moved to the city and started living with the people there was a lot for Bear to learn. The man started teaching Bear starting with the house rules. Things were very different for Bear then they were in the woods.

Animal House Rules:

1. The most important rule is that animals do not go out in the city without a disguise. Humans get very upset when they see animals in the city, and if they catch us they will shoot us or put us in a small cage. Animals do not want this. We like living in the house.
   
2. Animals do not use anything that gets hot because animals might burn themselves or burn down the house, then there would be no house to live in.
3. Animals do not eat the plants inside the house.
4. Animals do not eat the fish in the small fish pond in the house.
5. Animals do not shit in the house. Animals have to shit in the white water bowl and push the button.
6. Animals do not answer the door in the house. Other humans only know about our humans living in the house, so people would be scared by a large bear answering the door, even if the disguise was on.
7. Animals do not hunt the other animals that humans live with.

When the other animals came to the house, Bear taught them these rules.

Bear Growing Up Part I

Bear's memory starts in Fundy, 3 warm times ago. There was Bear, mama bear and brother. We spent all day playing, eating and napping. Bear and brother would run in the woods and have bear fights. At first bear ate from mama bear's belly. Then mama bear started bringing us fishes she caught. Bear loves the fishes. Mama bear would take us fishing with her, and taught us how to fish in the shallow pools where some fish get stuck. Bear still remembers the first fish he caught all by himself. Bear didn't want to share with brother, but mama made me. It was still good. And when brother caught one, he had to share with me.

Sometimes other big men bears would get in fights with mama, but mama would always win. She said that they were trying to eat us. Bear just liked fish, not other bears.

Soon bears were getting fish all by themselves. Then it got cold.Bear likes the cold. And the white came on the ground. The white was fun to eat and play in. Then mama made a new hole and we all got in and had the biggest nap ever. Bear loves remembering being all warm and cozy in the hole.

Bear

This is the story of me, and how I moved from the woods into the city to live with a nice boy and girl and learn the way that humans live.

Bear is a 4 year old black bear.

Bear lives in a house with 2 humans, a moose, a lynx and a capabara.

Bear works as a seasonal fisherman. But now most of the time Bear gets his food out a white cold box in the house now, so bear doesn't need to hunt and forage.

Bear had lots of extra time on his paws since bear didn't have to hunt and forage all day, so Bear learned to use this internet.

Bear got a credit card using this internet so he could buy things like the humans and not pay for them.

Bear made a disguise from things my humans had in the house so bear could go in public to buy stuff.

Then the credit card humans told bear that bear needs to give them money. So bear used the internet to find out what seasonal fisherman use for money and he found out that the government gives them money. So Bear put on his disguise to go to the EI office and write some things on a piece of paper and now the EI government humans give bear emails to give to the bank humans and bear sends emails from the bank humans to the credit card humans so bear can give the credit card to the beer store humans and they give bear beers. Bear thinks this is a bit confusing but bear can get anything he wants now as long as he keeps emailing.

Some things bear wants live far away, so bear got a car driving license from the car license humans. Now bear can get anywhere quicker then bear can run.

Bear likes to live with the humans.