Bear doesn't know why, but Bear has made a den out of old newspapers and the man and the girls laundry in behind their couch. Bear has been getting so sleepy since it got cold out. Bear seems to remember this happening in the old house last year, but he isn't sure.
So sleepy, hard for Bear to stay awake to blog............. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz--grrr----zzzzz--grrrrrr----zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sunday, November 30, 2008
ADOPT A BEAR
The internet showed Bear this video about another bear who started living with humans and made friends with a dog (no moose cappybear or lynx though).
Bear likes this story. Bear isn't sure what happened to the colours in the video though, and the music is a bit strange.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Human Thanksgiving Day
The other day all the humans in the city didn't go to work for a special day. Bear found out from the internet that it was what the humans call Thanksgiving Day. Apparently the humans are happy that some other humans gave them this city and the white boxes full of food and cars and internet and pumpkins so the humans take a day to not go to work and they eat all day long instead. Bear loves this holiday.
To add to all the eating related fun the humans close off the streets so that some of the humans can get dressed up and walk down the street playing music and carrying giant versions of the characters Bear loves so much from the picture box without getting hit by those crazy yellow cars that drive so fast when Bear goes out walking. A man yelling at everybody said that this is called a macy parade. Bear isn't sure who this macy is but he thinks she's the one who made the white boxes full of food
Bear was especially happy that bears were well represented in this macy parade. Bear saw those building bears again. Even though Bear disagrees with these bears misleading humans as to how bears are really built, Bear is happy to see bears in the macy parade and not being shot. Bear took a picture see:
And Bear saw those funny Care Bears. Apparently they come down from their clowd city for this macy parade to spread happiness. You can see the grumpy one in the front. Bear didn't see the sleepy one --- he must have slept in; it was pretty early in the morning. Bear took a picture see:
The Moose and Cappy loved the macy parade. Bear loved the thanksgiving (eating). Bear thinks Lynx loved it all too although he wouldn't admit it.
To add to all the eating related fun the humans close off the streets so that some of the humans can get dressed up and walk down the street playing music and carrying giant versions of the characters Bear loves so much from the picture box without getting hit by those crazy yellow cars that drive so fast when Bear goes out walking. A man yelling at everybody said that this is called a macy parade. Bear isn't sure who this macy is but he thinks she's the one who made the white boxes full of food
Bear was especially happy that bears were well represented in this macy parade. Bear saw those building bears again. Even though Bear disagrees with these bears misleading humans as to how bears are really built, Bear is happy to see bears in the macy parade and not being shot. Bear took a picture see:
And Bear saw those funny Care Bears. Apparently they come down from their clowd city for this macy parade to spread happiness. You can see the grumpy one in the front. Bear didn't see the sleepy one --- he must have slept in; it was pretty early in the morning. Bear took a picture see:
The Moose and Cappy loved the macy parade. Bear loved the thanksgiving (eating). Bear thinks Lynx loved it all too although he wouldn't admit it.
Tribute to Bears
Bear was walking The Moose and Cappy in the fake woods the other day when he found this monument to bears. Bear has noticed that the humans normally like to make monuments for funny looking old humans or large birds or funny shapes that Bear has never seen before. And the internet has been telling Bear about a lot of anti-bear speciesim lately, so Bear was glad bears are appreciated, and that The Moose and Cappy could see that sometimes the humans like bears and make monuments to them instead of shooting us.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Black bear killed after it escapes owner's home
Don't worry, it wasn't Bear. Apparently Bear isn't as special as he thought. It looks like lots of people in this Ohio place like to keep bears too. The humans in charge appear to let the humans not in charge keep bears, but as Bear has learned and told the other animals, if the humans catch you outside without a good disguise, they'll shoot you;
Black bear killed after it escapes owner's home
Black bear killed after it escapes owner's home
Bear Fishing
The man made a video of Bear going for a fish.
As you can see from my blog profile (its right over there, on your right paw side) Bear is a seasonal fisherman. For years Bear just caught fish and ate them when they were around, but then he found out that the humans would give him money when the fish weren't around. Bear isn't sure why, but he loves his Employment Insurance.
From the forms that Bear had to fill out to get his Employment Insurance he found out that there are lots of humans who fish sometimes too and get Employment Insurance the rest of the time -- so many of them that the humans have made Employment Insurance forms and don't notice when a black bear fills one out.
Bear has also noticed that although the humans love the fishes, they aren't very good as catching them. The use their Employment Insurance to buy all sorts of sticks and nets and hooks and clothes and boats and cages and make lots of internet blogs and put ads on the side of Bear's blog to get the fishes cause even though they have the useful opposable thumbs, they have no claws or jaws and they just don't seem very smart at getting the fishes. So Bear has decided to give the humans some fishes catching tips to go along with this instructional video that the man made to teach the humans how to catch fishes better:
1. Go to the woods. Bear has found that there are no fishes in the city (Bear would like to pause here and clairify that he is teaching humans how to catch fishes, as opposed to getting fishes. You see catching fishes means going to water and grabbing a fish with your teeth. Getting fishes means going to the white box or a store and giving another humans your Employment Insurance money and they give you a fish. This lesson is for catching fishes). If there are any they aren't good for eating, even for a bear. The funny man in the humans made woods with the stick at the water should take special note of this tip.
2. Find water. For catching fishes the water should be the type that has lots of fishes in it. This seems to be a hard part of the humans who seem to like to stand in water with sticks for hours where there are no fish. The humans need to smell the air better and listen to the clock in their brain to find when and where the fishes are.
3. Find a part of the water that is less deep. If it's not so deep, then the fishes have less water to hide in.
4. Find a fish. It should be big and slow and stupid looking. Again, humans don't seem very good at telling which fishes are big and slow and stupid. They seem to just try to get anything they can.
5. Follow the fish for a bit. This will help you learn how the fish is thinking and where it likes to swim. Humans normally just like to stand in one place, like they think that the fish is going to want to come over and make friends with them.
6. This is where fishing takes on a personal touch. Bear likes to just stick his head in the water (see video) and catch the fish. Other bears sometimes will swim with them for a bit. And other bears will use their paws to claw them around for a bit. This point seems to be the most hardest for the humans.
7. Find a good place on shore to hide from bigger bears and eat your fish. Bear knows that humans always like to put their food on a fire first. This is fine, but a bear might smell it and be too lazy to get his own fish and just come and take yours. You've been warned.
Now you humans are ready to go out and catch some fishes like a bear.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Lynx Update Part II
Bear was in the park with the Moose and Cappy today to get an update from the squirrels on Lynx's progress. Lynx of course has gone to Louisiana to free a bearnapped black bear cub that the internet told Bear about. Bear's loyal blog readers will remember that Lynx had teamed up with two mountain lion brothers and a red fox in his mission.
The squirrels had great news for Bear. The red fox had teamed up with his red fox pack and located the super secret compound of the humans special agents where they were holding the bearnapped black bear cub in the Louisiana place. The animals investigated and smelled and marked and claimed the area and hunted for rabbits together for a couple of days as animals do.
Then once the animal had properly claimed the area and had a good snack they set their plan into action. First Lynx used his claw to open the lock of the super secret compound (like he learned to do in the city to get into the house when the man and girl aren't home). Then the mountain lion pounced on the secret service guards and held them down. Then the foxes poked the humans in their bums with the sharp things that they poke the animals with that make them sleepy. Then Lynx freed the bearnapped bear cub from the tiny cage that the secret service humans were keeping him.
Then the mountain lions and Lynx measured the humans for no apparent reason and poked around in their mouths and pulled on their ears. Then the red foxes put collars on the humans necks (Bear will never understand the humans fixation on putting things around everything's neck). Then the mountain lions and Lynx took the humans into the middle of the woods and released them into their new habitat.
Then Lynx took the bear cub to some water and showed him how to fish the way Bear tried to teach Lynx how to fish so he could have some real bear food, not the crap that the secret service humans had been feeding him (Lynx wasn't so good at it cause he doesn't like to get his fur wet and his paws are small and his jaw is little--- Lynx is built for land hunting, not water hunting, but Bear is glad that Lynx found a use for the lession). A job well done by the animal team.
The squirrels told Bear that Lynx is headed home to the city now and the foxes have gone have gone back to their den in the woods. The red foxes told the mountain lions about a place with beautiful snow capped mountains and woods and lots of animals to hunt and lots of space for mountain lions to roam in a place called Colorado , so they were going there. And the mountian lions decided that they would take care of the bear until he was old enough to take care of himself.
Bear is happy
The squirrels had great news for Bear. The red fox had teamed up with his red fox pack and located the super secret compound of the humans special agents where they were holding the bearnapped black bear cub in the Louisiana place. The animals investigated and smelled and marked and claimed the area and hunted for rabbits together for a couple of days as animals do.Then once the animal had properly claimed the area and had a good snack they set their plan into action. First Lynx used his claw to open the lock of the super secret compound (like he learned to do in the city to get into the house when the man and girl aren't home). Then the mountain lion pounced on the secret service guards and held them down. Then the foxes poked the humans in their bums with the sharp things that they poke the animals with that make them sleepy. Then Lynx freed the bearnapped bear cub from the tiny cage that the secret service humans were keeping him.
Then the mountain lions and Lynx measured the humans for no apparent reason and poked around in their mouths and pulled on their ears. Then the red foxes put collars on the humans necks (Bear will never understand the humans fixation on putting things around everything's neck). Then the mountain lions and Lynx took the humans into the middle of the woods and released them into their new habitat.
Then Lynx took the bear cub to some water and showed him how to fish the way Bear tried to teach Lynx how to fish so he could have some real bear food, not the crap that the secret service humans had been feeding him (Lynx wasn't so good at it cause he doesn't like to get his fur wet and his paws are small and his jaw is little--- Lynx is built for land hunting, not water hunting, but Bear is glad that Lynx found a use for the lession). A job well done by the animal team.
The squirrels told Bear that Lynx is headed home to the city now and the foxes have gone have gone back to their den in the woods. The red foxes told the mountain lions about a place with beautiful snow capped mountains and woods and lots of animals to hunt and lots of space for mountain lions to roam in a place called Colorado , so they were going there. And the mountian lions decided that they would take care of the bear until he was old enough to take care of himself.
Bear is happy
Caring Bears
Bear was reading about a group of bears called the Care Bears. Apparently they're a group of bears who have died their fur bright colors, painted hearts and flowers and such positive imagery on their bellies and run around spreading care and joy to the humans; except for one Care Bear who likes to sleep all the time and another who's grumpy all the time.
Bear thinks its nice that this group of bears are trying to spread joy and improve the bad image of bears that the humans seem to have of them. But these Care Bears also face bearism and anti-bearites like other bears, especially from one of the humans named No-heart. He must be friends with the Sarah Palin and Steven Colbert humans. Instead of using normal disguises like Bear uses they have chosen to hide in the clouds and travel to the city on rainbows.
Bear is going to find out how to ride these rainbows. Until then, good luck with your mission Care Bears. Bear thinks he'll be best friends with the sleepy one.
Bear thinks its nice that this group of bears are trying to spread joy and improve the bad image of bears that the humans seem to have of them. But these Care Bears also face bearism and anti-bearites like other bears, especially from one of the humans named No-heart. He must be friends with the Sarah Palin and Steven Colbert humans. Instead of using normal disguises like Bear uses they have chosen to hide in the clouds and travel to the city on rainbows.
Bear is going to find out how to ride these rainbows. Until then, good luck with your mission Care Bears. Bear thinks he'll be best friends with the sleepy one.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Bear has a snack
Internet has been telling Bear about some humans who think that they have wasted food boxes that are tougher than Bear is; "Bear vs Trash Cans; The Arms Race Continues". To show Internet and humans that Bear is tougher than any wasted food box that the humans can make, Bear got on a train and went to where they have these so called "bear-proof" wasted food boxes and Bear broke it and had a snack and The Moose taped it and Bear put it here, on Bear's blog.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tiger and Bear Play
Bear just thought this was cute.
Bear likes interspecies play. Like bears and mooses and bears and lynxs and bears and capybaras and capybaras and lynxs and lynxs and mooses and capybaras.
Bear Having a Rest
Bear wanted a rest after a long day of fishing and eating berries. This type of bed is hard for Bear to get into, not like the bed in the house. But its very comfy once Bear is in place
Black Bear v.s Cougar
In case you were wondering about how tough the mountain lions brothers that are with Lynx now on their way to Louisiana to free the kidnapped black bear cub, the internet showed Bear this video.
Mountain lion is pretty tough, but just like the bull, bear wins in the end. Bear wonders how the mountain lion would do against a water bear.
Water Bear
The internet machine told Bear about another type of bear today. Internet calls it a water bear. Bear isn't sure about this kind of bear. Its tiny, even tinier than the girl or Cappy, and that's pretty little. And it has lots of funny extra paws.Internet says that water bears are tough ass, maybe even tougher then Bear. Internet says water bear can live anywhere, even this place the internet calls space where there isn't any food or air or fishes or berries or beers or anything and its cold. And water bears can live in these vacuum things and in ray things and this radiation thing without having any fur. Bear isn't sure what any of those places are but the internet seems impressed by water bear living there, so Bear is too cause the internet seems to know a lot.
Bear is impressed with this new bear even though it looks funny.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Lynx Update
For that human who regularly reads Bear's blog, you will remember that Bear got very upset with a group of human special agents who kidnapped and poked a little black bear cub; What is wrong with the humans!!!!! Bear talked to Lynx about the incident and Lynx has gone to this Louisiana place to free the kidnapped bear cub.
Today when Bear was in the woods that the humans build Bear talked to some of Bears squirrel friends. The squirrels are always in constant communication over the squirrel network and they know everything that happens in the woods.
The squirrels told Bear that Lynx is making good progress. He is in the mountains close to where Cappy came from which is apparently getting close to this Louisiana place. Bear doesn't know where any of these places are, but the squirrels say that Lynx is making good time, and squirrels are rarely wrong so Bear believes them. They drew Bear a map:
The squirrels told Bear that Lynx has made friends with two mountain lion brothers on his journey. Lynx is good at making friends when he's in one of his social moods.
Bear hasn't met any mountain lions before cause the humans have killed all of the ones who used to live in Fundy, but he has heard about them and Bear knows that they're tough-ass, some say even more tough-ass then Bear. Bear found a picture, see. Plus the mountain lion brothers are super sneaky like Lynx is. The perfect animals to help on Lynx's mission.
The squirrels told Bear that these mountain lion brothers want to help Lynx in his mission because the mountain lion brothers are upset with the humans just like Bear because some hillbillies shot their mama mountain lion. Bear didn't know what a hillbilly was. The squirrels explained to Bear that hillbillies are a kind of humans. Bear didn't know this, but the squirrels say that just like there are black bears and albino bears, there are different kinds of humans too. Bear understands being mad at humans when they shoot your mama.
The mountain lion brothers know a pack of red foxes who live in Louisiana. The squirrels say that the red fox pack will be able to help Lynx and the mountain lion brothers find the kidnapped bear cub and set him free. Bear will keep everybody informed
Today when Bear was in the woods that the humans build Bear talked to some of Bears squirrel friends. The squirrels are always in constant communication over the squirrel network and they know everything that happens in the woods.
The squirrels told Bear that Lynx is making good progress. He is in the mountains close to where Cappy came from which is apparently getting close to this Louisiana place. Bear doesn't know where any of these places are, but the squirrels say that Lynx is making good time, and squirrels are rarely wrong so Bear believes them. They drew Bear a map:The squirrels told Bear that Lynx has made friends with two mountain lion brothers on his journey. Lynx is good at making friends when he's in one of his social moods.
Bear hasn't met any mountain lions before cause the humans have killed all of the ones who used to live in Fundy, but he has heard about them and Bear knows that they're tough-ass, some say even more tough-ass then Bear. Bear found a picture, see. Plus the mountain lion brothers are super sneaky like Lynx is. The perfect animals to help on Lynx's mission.The squirrels told Bear that these mountain lion brothers want to help Lynx in his mission because the mountain lion brothers are upset with the humans just like Bear because some hillbillies shot their mama mountain lion. Bear didn't know what a hillbilly was. The squirrels explained to Bear that hillbillies are a kind of humans. Bear didn't know this, but the squirrels say that just like there are black bears and albino bears, there are different kinds of humans too. Bear understands being mad at humans when they shoot your mama.
The mountain lion brothers know a pack of red foxes who live in Louisiana. The squirrels say that the red fox pack will be able to help Lynx and the mountain lion brothers find the kidnapped bear cub and set him free. Bear will keep everybody informed
Bear's day
Today Bear woke up with a terrible head ache. Bear got into lots of beers last night and it made his head hurt today. So Bear slept in. Then Bear had a swim in the big blue water bowl in the house. That made Bear feel better.
Then Bear took Cappy out to meet the man and girl in the woods that the humans have made in the city. Cappy wasn't feeling good today cause he doesn't like the cold cause he was meant to live in a warm place so he doesn't have any warm fur. Cappy had a warm swim in the big blue water bowl with Bear and then he felt better so we went to the woods to play with the man and girl. Bear used his GPS (Global Positioning Snout) to find them. Bear's GPS is much more accurate than these GPS science things that the humans spend lots of credit card emails on as long as the man and girl don't get in a car of the big shiny under ground cars that everybody travels on here. Bear likes his GPS better and gets to spend his credit card emails on beers and foods instead.
Bear and Cappy went for a swim in a big lake in the woods. Then some humans got mad and yelled at Bear and Cappy so we ran and hid. Cappy doesn't get scared when cause he knows that Bear or Lynx are tough and can protect him. Cappy was cold so the girl gave him a scarf and hat and carried him in her handbag like he loves to do. Bear found a better stream to play in where there weren't many humans and played in it. Unfortunately no fishes for Bear to catch so Bear had to eat some berries that he found. Then Bear left the woods and found one of the humans with the shiny carts and got lots of food from him. Bear loves the humans with the shiny carts and the foods.
Then Bear took Cappy out to meet the man and girl in the woods that the humans have made in the city. Cappy wasn't feeling good today cause he doesn't like the cold cause he was meant to live in a warm place so he doesn't have any warm fur. Cappy had a warm swim in the big blue water bowl with Bear and then he felt better so we went to the woods to play with the man and girl. Bear used his GPS (Global Positioning Snout) to find them. Bear's GPS is much more accurate than these GPS science things that the humans spend lots of credit card emails on as long as the man and girl don't get in a car of the big shiny under ground cars that everybody travels on here. Bear likes his GPS better and gets to spend his credit card emails on beers and foods instead.
Bear and Cappy went for a swim in a big lake in the woods. Then some humans got mad and yelled at Bear and Cappy so we ran and hid. Cappy doesn't get scared when cause he knows that Bear or Lynx are tough and can protect him. Cappy was cold so the girl gave him a scarf and hat and carried him in her handbag like he loves to do. Bear found a better stream to play in where there weren't many humans and played in it. Unfortunately no fishes for Bear to catch so Bear had to eat some berries that he found. Then Bear left the woods and found one of the humans with the shiny carts and got lots of food from him. Bear loves the humans with the shiny carts and the foods.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Bear wants his beer credit card
The internet machine science has told Bear more about this Stearns Bear. Bear already doesn't like this Sterns Bear cause it is using Bear's likeness without paying Bear any beer credit card royalties like the internet has told Bear he is entitled to. This Stearns Bear doesn't get on the favorite type of bear list cause its nobody's favorite bear. The internet has told Bear that since Bear got mad at this Stearns Bear lots of other people have agreed with Bear and are mad at this Stearns Bear now too. Now the Stearns Bear is givin the other humans that are mad at it 27000000 credit card emails. Bear isn't so good at this science but he knows that's enough for a good weekend in the beers. Bear wants his cut. Stearns Bear, you can make the credit card email out to "Bear". Thank you.
What is wrong with the humans!!!!!
The internet machine told Bear about this upsetting story about secret agents kidnapping baby black bears and doing horrible sciencie things to him and letting a dog yell at him. The internet even had pictures:
What the fuck is wrong with the humans that they have to get secret special agents to do this to little bears. Would the humans like it if the bear secret special agents put them in little rusty cages and let dogs bark at them when all they really wanted to do is have a snack and drink some beers.
Bear has talked to Lynx about this and Lynx has gone to this Louisiana place to free the bear. Lynx is good at finding funny places like this Louisiana and helping animals just like he did with Cappy. Bear told him to give these stupid special agents a clawing.
Bear needs to get into some beers now.
What the fuck is wrong with the humans that they have to get secret special agents to do this to little bears. Would the humans like it if the bear secret special agents put them in little rusty cages and let dogs bark at them when all they really wanted to do is have a snack and drink some beers.
Bear has talked to Lynx about this and Lynx has gone to this Louisiana place to free the bear. Lynx is good at finding funny places like this Louisiana and helping animals just like he did with Cappy. Bear told him to give these stupid special agents a clawing.
Bear needs to get into some beers now.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Who is this Bear?
Who is this Paddington Bear? Is Paddington his name like Bear is Bears? or is this a new type of Bear that Bear didn't know about until the internet told him today? To be safe Bear has put the Paddington Bear on the types of Bears list on Bear's blog so that his reader can make this decision for him.
The Paddington Bear appears to have a clever disguise just like Bear does for going out in public. Bear likes his hat a lot. And Bear thinks that Bear would like a cary box like that too.
The internet says the Paddington Bear is from another country and likes marmite. Bear doesn't know what this marmite is but he's going to get the girl to help him find some when she gets home.
Bear likes this Paddington Bear.
The Paddington Bear appears to have a clever disguise just like Bear does for going out in public. Bear likes his hat a lot. And Bear thinks that Bear would like a cary box like that too.
The internet says the Paddington Bear is from another country and likes marmite. Bear doesn't know what this marmite is but he's going to get the girl to help him find some when she gets home.
Bear likes this Paddington Bear.
Close Call
Bear had a small incident with some humans today. Bear left the house to go to the store to get some beers this morning to have with his breakfast and he found the whole street outside the house was full of big camping cars. The big camping cars were just like the big camping cars that the older humans use in Fundy when they don't have the little tepees that the younger humans and The Moose like so much. Bear knows that these humans always had better foods and beers than the tepee humans.
Bear didn't know that the humans in this new city camp in the city like the humans in the old city used to do in the woods. And the humans had lots of food out just like they do when they camp in the woods. So Bear used what Lynx has taught him about urban stealth hunting skills and went to steal some of the food just like Bear does with the campers in the woods. But these humans were much more alert and less drunk than the humans in the woods are and yelled at Bear for taking the food and chased him down the street.
They weren't scared of Bear cause Bear had his human disguise on. In the woods Bear doesn't wear a human disguise so the humans run away from Bear and Bear just has to remember to eat as much as he can and run away before the humans come back with guns and shoot Bear. But in the city if the humans find out that Bear is a bear they will shoot him right away, so Bear ran and hid.
So Bear has learned that the humans in the new city camp in the city and eat food but don't get into the beers and are hard to get food from. Bear still has lots to learn about these humans and their ways in this new city.
Bear didn't know that the humans in this new city camp in the city like the humans in the old city used to do in the woods. And the humans had lots of food out just like they do when they camp in the woods. So Bear used what Lynx has taught him about urban stealth hunting skills and went to steal some of the food just like Bear does with the campers in the woods. But these humans were much more alert and less drunk than the humans in the woods are and yelled at Bear for taking the food and chased him down the street.
They weren't scared of Bear cause Bear had his human disguise on. In the woods Bear doesn't wear a human disguise so the humans run away from Bear and Bear just has to remember to eat as much as he can and run away before the humans come back with guns and shoot Bear. But in the city if the humans find out that Bear is a bear they will shoot him right away, so Bear ran and hid.
So Bear has learned that the humans in the new city camp in the city and eat food but don't get into the beers and are hard to get food from. Bear still has lots to learn about these humans and their ways in this new city.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Dancing Bear
Bear isn't sure if this is a real bear like Bear is, but Bear is very impressed with his dancing moves and thinks this is a catchy tune
Bear vs. Bull on Wall Street
Apparently this market used to belong to bulls. Bear found this video where the bull tries to take the market back from the bears.
Bear thinks this fight is a bit unfair. First the bull starts with a cheap shot. The bear was obviously expecting a tribute from the bull after having won the market, but instead the bull hits the bear in the head. Then the bull his the bear in the balls which is never nice in any fight.
Then the humans put gloves on the bear which take away his beast fighting tool; his claws. The bull gets gloves too, but bulls have hoofs, and anybody who has been watching the moose type his blog knows that hoofs are useless for typing and fighting. The humans should have gloved the bulls horns for it to be a fair fight.
Bear still thinks the bear won this fight. and its always funny to watch bulls chase red things. Bear and his brother used to do this to bulls back in Fundy. Its like the bulls can't see Bear if there's something red in his hand. Bear and his brother used to have hours of fun in Fundy making bulls and cows chase red things Bear and his brother would steal from the humans. Sometimes Bear and his brother would push the bulls and cows over and watch them try to stand up again cause its really hard for the cows and bulls to do, not like bears.
Then Mama Bear told Bear and his brother that it wasn't nice to do that to bulls and cows and that we should be friends with them. Bear felt bad. Bear and his brother stopped pushing over the cows and bulls and making them chase red things and apologized to them and became friends.
But after seeing how this bull fights, Bear doesn't feel so bad about his childhood pranks. Bear will take the high road and give the other bulls and cows a chance before he starts pushing them all over again. Bear thinks it might just be this one bull who let all of the power of controlling all of the fish in the market go to his head and became a dick bull.
Bear still isn't sure where this girl thinks she is going to go swimming.
Bear Market
Bear isn't sure what this is all about or why the humans are in swim suits when they're in the city and Bear knows for sure that there aren't any good places to swim or fish where they are. But Bear is happy that bears have apparently taken over this 'market'.
Bear hopes that there is lots of fish to eat at this market that Bear owns now cause the market close to the house only has vegetables. But Bear hasn't been able to locate the market of this other bear who has claimed the market in the name of all bears everywhere. The internet talks about it lots and how the bears own it and this sterns bear, but never tells Bear where it is so he can go collect his fishes.
Bear gets sleepy and hungry
Bear has been out eating a lot. Bear remembers this happening lots. When it gets cold and the leaves fall of the trees Bear gets very hungry. Bear has been out in the city looking for fishes. Bear has big fishes craving. Sometimes Bear can smell out a place in the city when there's lots of men putting fishes off boats onto ice. But there's lots of humans around so its hard for Bear to get any fishes and Bear has been saving is credit cards for beer money cause the beers in the new city are expensive.
Since its hard to find fishes to hunt for free in the new city Bear has been pretending to be blind and dressing The Moose as a seeing eye moose so Bear is allowed to take The Moose on the train and Bear and The Moose go to a place called "upstate" (Bear doesn't understand where this is but there is still waters there with fishes in them for Bear to catch). So The Moose goes foraging in the woods and Bear gets some fishes until Bear is full and has a nap and then Bear and The Moose go home.
Bear is getting sleepy.
Since its hard to find fishes to hunt for free in the new city Bear has been pretending to be blind and dressing The Moose as a seeing eye moose so Bear is allowed to take The Moose on the train and Bear and The Moose go to a place called "upstate" (Bear doesn't understand where this is but there is still waters there with fishes in them for Bear to catch). So The Moose goes foraging in the woods and Bear gets some fishes until Bear is full and has a nap and then Bear and The Moose go home.
Bear is getting sleepy.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Lil Smokey
Bear likes to smoke. Bear wants some snappy shoes like this bear.
Bear doesn't understand why the humans like to kill so many bears and then they find one who's almost dead and make him alive again and give him nice shoes like the humans have and smokables like the humans smoke. Why don't the humans just stop killing all the other bears and then there would be lots of bears and they wouldn't have to spend so much time with just one.
Bear doesn't understand why the humans like to kill so many bears and then they find one who's almost dead and make him alive again and give him nice shoes like the humans have and smokables like the humans smoke. Why don't the humans just stop killing all the other bears and then there would be lots of bears and they wouldn't have to spend so much time with just one.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Animals visit the Zoo
Today Bear took The Moose and Lynx to a zoo. Bear didn't know what a zoo was, but apparently its a place that the humans make that looks like the woods but isn't really, and then the humans get a whole bunch of animals and put them in the fake woods. Then the humans feed and take care of the animals and charge other humans to come and look at the animals. Bear doesn't really understand why the humans don't just go to the woods to see the animals, but humans do lots of funny things to get rid of all of the things in the woods and then they seem to miss the woods so they make fake woods with the parts they miss. Lynx says he found Cappy in a zoo.
Anyway Bear got dressed up and dressed up The Moose like a dog and Lynx prowled like Lynx does and we all went to this human zoo. Cappy wanted to go with the girl for a ride in her hand bag.
There were some animals that Bear knows, and some that Bear has never seen before in the woods. There were some albino bears that Bear talked to. The Moose loved it even though there weren't any other mooses. There was a small altercation when The Moose tried to eat a zoo animals trees and the zoo animal got upset and Bear and The Moose had to go and hide for a while.
And Bear ran into an old friend. Those of you who lived in the house might remember the Red Panda who used to live with us. Bear met him again in the zoo and Red Panda remembered Bear. Red Panda didn't remember The Moose cause The Moose didn't live in the house when Red Panda was there.
Red Panda had escaped from illegal exotic animal poachers when their truck was in an accident on a human road. Red Panda was lost and confused in the new land far from where he was from. Other animals in the woods thought he was a sick raccoon and gave him directions to the man and girls house just like they did for The Moose and he came and stayed with us for a while.
Then Red Panda hid in the girls bag when she went on an flying ship to see her family. The flying ship went close to where Red Panda was from and when he got back there and got to eat the foods that he loved, he was so happy that he decided to stay. The girl was sad, but soon The Moose moved in so it was OK.
Red Panda told Bear that he had returned to the woods to eat bamboo. He loved it. He made other Red Panda friends. Then one day more humans came and trapped Red Panda and some of his friends. Bear guesses that Red Panda isn't a very good hider or runner of fighter cause he keeps getting caught by the humans.
Then the humans gave Red Panda to some other humans who put him on a truck and drove somewhere who gave Red Panda to some other humans who put him on another truck and drove somewhere who gave Red Panda to some other humans who put Red Panda in a flying ship and when somewhere who gave Red Panda to some other humans who put Red Panda in a flying ship and when somewhere else and then more humans and flying and more humans and driving, and soon they put him in his zoo and let him eat bamboo all day. Red Panda liked it in the zoo. He was tired of flying and driving and all of the hiding from humans so he was happy to just sit and eat bamboo.
The Lynx came and Red Panda ran away. Red Panda had always been scared of Lynx. Lynx had never met Red Panda when he lived in the house cause Red Panda would always hide. Bear doens't know why Red Panda can't hide from humans, but then humans can be tricky.
It was a fun day at the zoo for the animals.
Anyway Bear got dressed up and dressed up The Moose like a dog and Lynx prowled like Lynx does and we all went to this human zoo. Cappy wanted to go with the girl for a ride in her hand bag.
There were some animals that Bear knows, and some that Bear has never seen before in the woods. There were some albino bears that Bear talked to. The Moose loved it even though there weren't any other mooses. There was a small altercation when The Moose tried to eat a zoo animals trees and the zoo animal got upset and Bear and The Moose had to go and hide for a while.
And Bear ran into an old friend. Those of you who lived in the house might remember the Red Panda who used to live with us. Bear met him again in the zoo and Red Panda remembered Bear. Red Panda didn't remember The Moose cause The Moose didn't live in the house when Red Panda was there.
Red Panda had escaped from illegal exotic animal poachers when their truck was in an accident on a human road. Red Panda was lost and confused in the new land far from where he was from. Other animals in the woods thought he was a sick raccoon and gave him directions to the man and girls house just like they did for The Moose and he came and stayed with us for a while.
Then Red Panda hid in the girls bag when she went on an flying ship to see her family. The flying ship went close to where Red Panda was from and when he got back there and got to eat the foods that he loved, he was so happy that he decided to stay. The girl was sad, but soon The Moose moved in so it was OK.
Red Panda told Bear that he had returned to the woods to eat bamboo. He loved it. He made other Red Panda friends. Then one day more humans came and trapped Red Panda and some of his friends. Bear guesses that Red Panda isn't a very good hider or runner of fighter cause he keeps getting caught by the humans.
Then the humans gave Red Panda to some other humans who put him on a truck and drove somewhere who gave Red Panda to some other humans who put him on another truck and drove somewhere who gave Red Panda to some other humans who put Red Panda in a flying ship and when somewhere who gave Red Panda to some other humans who put Red Panda in a flying ship and when somewhere else and then more humans and flying and more humans and driving, and soon they put him in his zoo and let him eat bamboo all day. Red Panda liked it in the zoo. He was tired of flying and driving and all of the hiding from humans so he was happy to just sit and eat bamboo.
The Lynx came and Red Panda ran away. Red Panda had always been scared of Lynx. Lynx had never met Red Panda when he lived in the house cause Red Panda would always hide. Bear doens't know why Red Panda can't hide from humans, but then humans can be tricky.
It was a fun day at the zoo for the animals.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Humans That Like Bears
Bear has been letting this internet tell him about humans that like bears like the man and girl that Bear live with.
Bear liked this story about this Charlie Vandergaw human. He likes bears and seems very happy living with them instead of shooting them.
This Russell and Enns human also has a nice internet about bears.
Bear liked this Tim Treadwell at first, but then he starts yelling at bears and being a bit crazy. Bear thinks that he didn't like being human anymore and thought he was a bear, but wasn't a bear so he couldn't do bear things like fighting with another bear even though he thought he could. But he still didn't want to shoot bears, so its a good bear story amoung all the not good story the internet has been telling Bear about human-bear-relations, bearism and bearaphobia
Bear liked this story about this Charlie Vandergaw human. He likes bears and seems very happy living with them instead of shooting them.
This Russell and Enns human also has a nice internet about bears.
Bear liked this Tim Treadwell at first, but then he starts yelling at bears and being a bit crazy. Bear thinks that he didn't like being human anymore and thought he was a bear, but wasn't a bear so he couldn't do bear things like fighting with another bear even though he thought he could. But he still didn't want to shoot bears, so its a good bear story amoung all the not good story the internet has been telling Bear about human-bear-relations, bearism and bearaphobia
Why Does This Colbert Man Hate Bears Too?
The internet showed Bear this Stephen Colbert human. He seemed smart with his own internet show that looks much better than Bears', but then Bear found out that he's a Bearaphobe. Not as bad of a Bearaphobe as this Sarah Palin human who wants to shoot Bear from flying machines and use dead Bear as a blanket, but still not good for human bear relations.
Bear Was Hungry
Ooops, Bear forgot his costume. Sometimes when it starts to get cold Bear starts getting very hungry and forgets important details like wearing a hat, overcoat and sunglasses when Bear goes out to eat.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Bears Playing With Dogs
Bear likes this video he found. It reminds Bear of when he plays with Lynx, except the video is of albino bears and dogs instead of Bear and Lynx, but essentially the same idea.
Bear likes to see different species of animal getting along and playing, just like the animals in the house
Who is this Sarah Palin Human
Since us animals moved to the new city Bear has been hearing all of the humans outside and on the internet science and even on the picture box in the bar talking about this Sarah Palin human. Bear thinks she must be in charge here in the new city.
So Bear asked the internet about this Sarah Palin and the internet told Bear to watch this video.
Needless to say, The Moose is terrified now. First The Moose heard about the humans shooting, chasing, tormenting and then dropping mooses to their death from flying machines in the old home, and now the human in charge of the new home likes to shoot mooses and bears from helicopters. The Moose has locked himself in the bathroom. The Moose made himself a tent in the shower out of some boxes and has been hiding ever since we watched this video. He can't even talk to Cappy.
Bear doesn't much like that the human in charge here likes to kill bears. Bear really doesn't think that the humans really need flying machines to kill bears. Humans are very good at killing bears with just guns and cars and trains.
Bear is also a bit disturbed that this Sarah Palin lives with a dead bear on her couch. Bear has been around some dead bear bodies in the woods and they don't smell good.
Bear is going to have to be more careful in the new city now that he knows that he is being hunted.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Bear foods
Bear likes when the girl makes him chicken noodle soup too, just like these panda type bears the internet science told Bear about.
Bear doesn't like these special bamboo trees that the panda type bear likes. Maybe The Moose would like them. The Moose loves to eat trees.
Bear doesn't like these special bamboo trees that the panda type bear likes. Maybe The Moose would like them. The Moose loves to eat trees.
Night out drinking with the humans
Bear went out drinking with humans in one of the humans special drinking places in the new city last night. Normally Bear buys the beers and goes back to the house to drink, but Bear doesn't have to worry as much in the new city about the the humans recognizing him as a Bear cause there are so many crazy humans that nobody notices Bear.
So Bear decided to go out to drink beers where the humans drink beers since Bear can now. Bear found a nice place with low lights and lots of humans so he could blend in. It was great. Bear just gives one of the mens his credit card and he keeps giving Bear beers all night long.
Bear noticed that there wasn't many womens at this bar. Bear isn't sure why, but Bear has noticed that sometimes the mens like to drink with other mens, and other times they like to drink with other mens and then go show the womens how drunk they got with the other mens. Womens must like drunk mens or something.
The mens in the bar were all very nice to Bear. Some even bought Bear beers. Then one of the mens gave Bear some human medicine and Bear ate it. Bear thought it was like the humans medicie the man gives him in the morning when Bear has had too many beers the night before. Then Bears head felt funny. Then Bear started sweating lots, just like the man. Then Bear felt like dancing, so Bear danced just like he learned watching the dancing show on the picture box with The Moose in the old house. Then some of the mens tryed to dance next to bear. Then some of the mens poked Bear in places Bear doesn't like to be poked. Bear felt uncomfortable and Bear is a solo pop and crump style dancer so Bear didn't like this. so Bear left, cause Bear has to be careful not to loose his bear temper when Bear is out drinking.
Bear couldn't sleep all night. Bear just wanted to chew things and rub things for marking and crump dance. Bear realized this wasn't so good for Bear cause it brings attention to him when he was doing it outside of the drinking place. So Bear went home.
Bear thinks he might try to go to one of the other human drinking places where the humans just drink and watch the picture box like they were at home, but are in a special drinking place. Bear will go there and not dance so that he won't be noticed and shot. Bear wants to know what the difference is between drinking and watching picutre box in a special drinking place and drinking and watching picture at the houes.
So Bear decided to go out to drink beers where the humans drink beers since Bear can now. Bear found a nice place with low lights and lots of humans so he could blend in. It was great. Bear just gives one of the mens his credit card and he keeps giving Bear beers all night long.
Bear noticed that there wasn't many womens at this bar. Bear isn't sure why, but Bear has noticed that sometimes the mens like to drink with other mens, and other times they like to drink with other mens and then go show the womens how drunk they got with the other mens. Womens must like drunk mens or something.
The mens in the bar were all very nice to Bear. Some even bought Bear beers. Then one of the mens gave Bear some human medicine and Bear ate it. Bear thought it was like the humans medicie the man gives him in the morning when Bear has had too many beers the night before. Then Bears head felt funny. Then Bear started sweating lots, just like the man. Then Bear felt like dancing, so Bear danced just like he learned watching the dancing show on the picture box with The Moose in the old house. Then some of the mens tryed to dance next to bear. Then some of the mens poked Bear in places Bear doesn't like to be poked. Bear felt uncomfortable and Bear is a solo pop and crump style dancer so Bear didn't like this. so Bear left, cause Bear has to be careful not to loose his bear temper when Bear is out drinking.
Bear couldn't sleep all night. Bear just wanted to chew things and rub things for marking and crump dance. Bear realized this wasn't so good for Bear cause it brings attention to him when he was doing it outside of the drinking place. So Bear went home.
Bear thinks he might try to go to one of the other human drinking places where the humans just drink and watch the picture box like they were at home, but are in a special drinking place. Bear will go there and not dance so that he won't be noticed and shot. Bear wants to know what the difference is between drinking and watching picutre box in a special drinking place and drinking and watching picture at the houes.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Stearns Bear Come-Uppins
Bear is starting to think that this stearns bear isn't really a bear. maybe that's the type of bear you build with this hannah montana bear in this bear building shop.
Bear has been reading on the computer and listening to the humans talk in the woods that the humans made in the new city and they're all really pissed at this stearns bear just like Bear is. The stearns bear still hasn't given Bear any money for using his name. That's why Bear didn't include him in his favorite bear survey, cause the stearns bear isn't anybody's favorite bear.
Apparently not only has this stearns not-really-a-bear not given Bear the beer money he deservises, but he took lots of the human's money too. Now lots of the humans think they're going to have to live in the woods full time. Bear doesn't think that would be the worst thing. Bear would miss the white box and this internet science, but he's lived in the woods before and there's lots of beers and food and fun things to do. But humans only seem to like to live in the woods for short times on weekends when its warm. Then humans don't like the woods.
Bear isn't happy about all the humans that have to move into the woods cause then it will be very crowded there. But Bear is happy that this stearns not-really-a-bear has failed and got his come-uppins. That will teach humans to steal Bear's name and not give him beer compensation.
Bear has been reading on the computer and listening to the humans talk in the woods that the humans made in the new city and they're all really pissed at this stearns bear just like Bear is. The stearns bear still hasn't given Bear any money for using his name. That's why Bear didn't include him in his favorite bear survey, cause the stearns bear isn't anybody's favorite bear.
Apparently not only has this stearns not-really-a-bear not given Bear the beer money he deservises, but he took lots of the human's money too. Now lots of the humans think they're going to have to live in the woods full time. Bear doesn't think that would be the worst thing. Bear would miss the white box and this internet science, but he's lived in the woods before and there's lots of beers and food and fun things to do. But humans only seem to like to live in the woods for short times on weekends when its warm. Then humans don't like the woods.
Bear isn't happy about all the humans that have to move into the woods cause then it will be very crowded there. But Bear is happy that this stearns not-really-a-bear has failed and got his come-uppins. That will teach humans to steal Bear's name and not give him beer compensation.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Animal Blogs
Bear helped the other animals make blogs so they can express their opinions on the science box too. Lynx is not very interested in it. Moose loves it but is very slow so Bear has to help a lot. Cappy is illiterate and doesn't understand what the science is. Cappy just likes the pictures and riding around the city in handbags. Humans should visit the other animal blogs. Bear made links to them, see, over there on the right paw side.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
How Bears are Built
What is this Build-A-Bear? Who is this Hanna Montana? She doesn't seem to be a bear. And why are their fake cats with funny painted coats? Cats aren't bears.
Build-A-Bear
Bear knows how bears are built cause Bear and his brother saw it happening once in the woods in Fundy and asked mama bear and she explained.
First a man bear and a girl bear wrestle. Normally man bears and girl bears don't get along, and when Bear and his brother were in the woods mama had to hide and protect us cause men bears would eat us.
Then the girl bears eats more than normal and gets fat. Then the girl bear makes a den and cuddles up in it. Then when she comes out, she has new bears.
Thats how bears are built.
Build-A-Bear
Bear knows how bears are built cause Bear and his brother saw it happening once in the woods in Fundy and asked mama bear and she explained.
First a man bear and a girl bear wrestle. Normally man bears and girl bears don't get along, and when Bear and his brother were in the woods mama had to hide and protect us cause men bears would eat us.
Then the girl bears eats more than normal and gets fat. Then the girl bear makes a den and cuddles up in it. Then when she comes out, she has new bears.
Thats how bears are built.
New Home
Bear and The Moose have successfully arrived in our new home. The last part of the walk in the city was the hardest part cause its hard to avoid being seen and shot by the humans in the city. And Bear lost Lynx's scent trail for a bit with all the human smells around, and Bear smelled lots of new things and kept eating out of the green boxes on the streets. Lynx was home to let us in the new house. Cappy was outside with the girl.
Cappy came with the girl by hiding in her bag when she came. Now Cappy has seen all of the humans in this city carrying their small dogs in bags, so Cappy has decided that is how small animals behave in this city and he insists on being taken everywhere with the girl in her bag. His noises sound more like dogs now too.
Lynx is the same.
Bear and The Moose made it to the new house by walking through some woods in the new city, but not woods like camping woods, but the type of woods that humans make themselves. Bear had to remind The Moose that he has to hide when he's in a human city cause the humans will shoot him. The Moose was a superstar in the woods on the walk down. Humans love him and take pictures of him and he poses and some of them even give him food. The Moose loved the attention. The Moose thought he was Britney Spears with a paparazi following. Bear had to remind him that is only in the real woods and that humans will shoot him if they see him in the human woods.
Humans will shoot Bear wherever he is. Bear doesn't like this speciesism.
The Moose was still having some trouble remembering to hide in the city, and Bear told him that he is a grown up moose cause of the walk now too, so he was being a little cockey when we first got to the city. The Moose had an incident in the human woods with a horse. The horse was grumpy cause he didn't like his new job and The Moose was showing off about not having a job and being a media superstar in the woods. The horse bit him. The Moose yellped and ran away. Bear found him hiding in a pond. The Moose learned his lesson.
Cappy came with the girl by hiding in her bag when she came. Now Cappy has seen all of the humans in this city carrying their small dogs in bags, so Cappy has decided that is how small animals behave in this city and he insists on being taken everywhere with the girl in her bag. His noises sound more like dogs now too.
Lynx is the same.
Bear and The Moose made it to the new house by walking through some woods in the new city, but not woods like camping woods, but the type of woods that humans make themselves. Bear had to remind The Moose that he has to hide when he's in a human city cause the humans will shoot him. The Moose was a superstar in the woods on the walk down. Humans love him and take pictures of him and he poses and some of them even give him food. The Moose loved the attention. The Moose thought he was Britney Spears with a paparazi following. Bear had to remind him that is only in the real woods and that humans will shoot him if they see him in the human woods.
Humans will shoot Bear wherever he is. Bear doesn't like this speciesism.
The Moose was still having some trouble remembering to hide in the city, and Bear told him that he is a grown up moose cause of the walk now too, so he was being a little cockey when we first got to the city. The Moose had an incident in the human woods with a horse. The horse was grumpy cause he didn't like his new job and The Moose was showing off about not having a job and being a media superstar in the woods. The horse bit him. The Moose yellped and ran away. Bear found him hiding in a pond. The Moose learned his lesson.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Bear and The Moose in the Woods
Bear and The Moose are now in The Mooses homeland. Bear has found a computer box that some sleeping human campers left unattended and could not resist borrowing it to update his blog.
Bear and The Moose have been on a walk in the woods for 5 nights now and we have come to where The Moose was born. It has been a very nice walk. Lots of trees and berries and fishes to eat and Bear even found some honey. Now that we are in The Mooses homeland there are lots of human campers again and that of course means human treats and beers for Bear to drink and eat. Bear likes that. The Moose is very happy. Bear told him that we're going on a long camping trip and we are meeting the man and girl at the end of it. Bear told him that the long camping trip without the humans and no tent is part of The Moose growing up into a grown up moose and it will make his stubs grow into big antlers like he wants. This makes The Moose happy.
The Moose has been having lots of memories on the walk since its the same walk he made when he was a new moose on the way to live with the humans in the house. He has met lots of the animals that helped him eat and find his way on the first walk --- other mooses and deers and squirrels and ground hogs and beavers and otters and the stinky animals and the spikey back animals. The other animals all tell him stories from when they met. Sometimes The Moose remembers, sometimes he doesn't, sometimes The Moose gets confused, sometimes happy and sometimes sad, but he's always fine after snacking on a good tree.
Bear is going now cause these humans have a slow internet connectin and its frustrating him. Bear has to be careful of getting frustrated cause then his Bear temper comes out and he breaks things.
Bear and The Moose have been on a walk in the woods for 5 nights now and we have come to where The Moose was born. It has been a very nice walk. Lots of trees and berries and fishes to eat and Bear even found some honey. Now that we are in The Mooses homeland there are lots of human campers again and that of course means human treats and beers for Bear to drink and eat. Bear likes that. The Moose is very happy. Bear told him that we're going on a long camping trip and we are meeting the man and girl at the end of it. Bear told him that the long camping trip without the humans and no tent is part of The Moose growing up into a grown up moose and it will make his stubs grow into big antlers like he wants. This makes The Moose happy.
The Moose has been having lots of memories on the walk since its the same walk he made when he was a new moose on the way to live with the humans in the house. He has met lots of the animals that helped him eat and find his way on the first walk --- other mooses and deers and squirrels and ground hogs and beavers and otters and the stinky animals and the spikey back animals. The other animals all tell him stories from when they met. Sometimes The Moose remembers, sometimes he doesn't, sometimes The Moose gets confused, sometimes happy and sometimes sad, but he's always fine after snacking on a good tree.
Bear is going now cause these humans have a slow internet connectin and its frustrating him. Bear has to be careful of getting frustrated cause then his Bear temper comes out and he breaks things.
The Fish Died
Bear is a bit sad today because the humans pet fish died.
This is a picture of the fish before it stopped swimming. The man and the girl taught us that the animals are only allowed to hunt animals and forage for berries and trees outside of the house. Inside plants and fishes are for humans to look at. Bear and The Moose both had problems at first eating the trees indoors, and Lynx had ate one of the fishes. But now the animals know that there's better foods in the white box for us to eat.
So Bear has become attached to the fish since he's been protecting it from the other animals when they're new to the house. So Bear is sad that it died.
Bear thinks that it knew that we were all moving to a new house and it didn't want to move again, so it got tired and stopped moving. Bear would have put it in a bowl and brought it on the walk with Bear and The Moose, but now its dead.
The man and Bear said some nice things about the fish (something the humans seem to enjoy doing when something dies) and then we put it in the white bowl and sent it wherever the poop goes. We didn't tell The Moose cause it would all be a bit too much for him.
Tomorrow Bear and The Moose will start our walk to the new house. Bear has the directions from Lynx. The man is going tomorrow too. He has our disguises so we can use them in the new house. Bear is going to explain what is happening to The Moose now.
This is a picture of the fish before it stopped swimming. The man and the girl taught us that the animals are only allowed to hunt animals and forage for berries and trees outside of the house. Inside plants and fishes are for humans to look at. Bear and The Moose both had problems at first eating the trees indoors, and Lynx had ate one of the fishes. But now the animals know that there's better foods in the white box for us to eat.
So Bear has become attached to the fish since he's been protecting it from the other animals when they're new to the house. So Bear is sad that it died.
Bear thinks that it knew that we were all moving to a new house and it didn't want to move again, so it got tired and stopped moving. Bear would have put it in a bowl and brought it on the walk with Bear and The Moose, but now its dead.
The man and Bear said some nice things about the fish (something the humans seem to enjoy doing when something dies) and then we put it in the white bowl and sent it wherever the poop goes. We didn't tell The Moose cause it would all be a bit too much for him.
Tomorrow Bear and The Moose will start our walk to the new house. Bear has the directions from Lynx. The man is going tomorrow too. He has our disguises so we can use them in the new house. Bear is going to explain what is happening to The Moose now.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Lynx Update
Today Bear dressed The Moose up like a great dane dog and took him for a walk in the park. Moose likes to get out and eat some trees in the daytime sometimes too, but has to be careful not to give himself away cause great dane dogs don't eat trees so if he eats too many the humans will become suspicious of his disguise.
Walks in the park also give Bear a good chance to talk to the squirrels. They have received news through the squirrel network that Lynx has almost arrived in our new home. His progress has been slowed cause there's lots of people there and its harder for him to lynx around without being seen and shot by the humans. Lynx doesn't mind moving slower cause that gives him time to further consolidate his land holding and hunt different flavored rabbits.
Lynx sent directions through the squirrel network of the safe path through the woods that he has found for Bear to take The Moose through to the new home. He made sure that there's lots of fishing waters and tasty trees for Bear and The Moose to eat. He even found some honey spots for Bear. Bear used a marker to write the directions on The Moose's back so Bear wouldn't forget them.
Lynx also sent a message through the squirrel network that the path goes through where The Moose is from. All the animals there know the story of The Moose. The Moose was born next to a human highway and his mamma got confused after he came out and ran into a car and dies. Lots of the animals felt bad for The Moose so they helped him find the way to a place they had heard about where a nice man and girl took care of animals. They knew that the Moose would die if he stayed alone where he was born without a mamma. So they showed him what mooses eat and which way to walk to get to the man and girl's house in a city. The closer he got, the more the animals in the woods knew of the man and girl.
It took The Moose a long time to walk there. When he arrived the girl had to take lots of care of him, and Bear wasn't allowed to give him any beers. Only milk and trees. Bear taught him the human house rules about not eating the indoor trees and peeing in the white water bowl, but not drinking out of it.
Lots of the animals that helped him thought he would die first cause he was so small and lost. They had a pool organized so they could bet food things on where and when The Moose would die. Some of the animals were a bit upset when they heard that The Moose had made it cause they lost their bets, but they were happy at the same time that The Moose had lived. They are all very excited to see The Moose again.
The Moose doesn't remember very much of his walk in the woods cause he was small and lost and hungry, but Bear thinks he might remember some things in the animal part of his think box when he sees the places again.
Bear is excited about the long woods walk comming up. Bear will tell The Moose that they are going to go on a big forrage trip soon. First Bear has to organize his finances so that the EI humans will still give the credit card humans emails so he can keep buying the beers in the new house. The humans always need so many emails for things.
Walks in the park also give Bear a good chance to talk to the squirrels. They have received news through the squirrel network that Lynx has almost arrived in our new home. His progress has been slowed cause there's lots of people there and its harder for him to lynx around without being seen and shot by the humans. Lynx doesn't mind moving slower cause that gives him time to further consolidate his land holding and hunt different flavored rabbits.
Lynx sent directions through the squirrel network of the safe path through the woods that he has found for Bear to take The Moose through to the new home. He made sure that there's lots of fishing waters and tasty trees for Bear and The Moose to eat. He even found some honey spots for Bear. Bear used a marker to write the directions on The Moose's back so Bear wouldn't forget them.
Lynx also sent a message through the squirrel network that the path goes through where The Moose is from. All the animals there know the story of The Moose. The Moose was born next to a human highway and his mamma got confused after he came out and ran into a car and dies. Lots of the animals felt bad for The Moose so they helped him find the way to a place they had heard about where a nice man and girl took care of animals. They knew that the Moose would die if he stayed alone where he was born without a mamma. So they showed him what mooses eat and which way to walk to get to the man and girl's house in a city. The closer he got, the more the animals in the woods knew of the man and girl.
It took The Moose a long time to walk there. When he arrived the girl had to take lots of care of him, and Bear wasn't allowed to give him any beers. Only milk and trees. Bear taught him the human house rules about not eating the indoor trees and peeing in the white water bowl, but not drinking out of it.
Lots of the animals that helped him thought he would die first cause he was so small and lost. They had a pool organized so they could bet food things on where and when The Moose would die. Some of the animals were a bit upset when they heard that The Moose had made it cause they lost their bets, but they were happy at the same time that The Moose had lived. They are all very excited to see The Moose again.
The Moose doesn't remember very much of his walk in the woods cause he was small and lost and hungry, but Bear thinks he might remember some things in the animal part of his think box when he sees the places again.
Bear is excited about the long woods walk comming up. Bear will tell The Moose that they are going to go on a big forrage trip soon. First Bear has to organize his finances so that the EI humans will still give the credit card humans emails so he can keep buying the beers in the new house. The humans always need so many emails for things.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
A Big Night Out On The Woods
Bear has been having more and more trouble distracting The Moose so he won't notice that the Girl and Lynx and Cappy are all gone. The tent is gone too. The Moose would be upset if he knew all this so Bear has been playing games like hide and seek with the Cappy Bear and giving him challenges like updating his Facebook page for when he gets tired of watching the picture box. It takes The Moose a very long time to operate the computer with those hoofs and lack of human science know how. The Moose also doesn't have the best memory so the sign in portion of the computer pages is a big challenge for him.
So Bear decided last night that Bear and The Moose needed a night out running in the woods, with lots of beers of course. So Bear and The Moose waited until dark and ran to the woods. We had a great time foraging and Bear fished and clawed trees and shit in the woods. Lots of fun. The Moose ate trees and ran around and got lost and got scared of deers he thought he smelled. Then he poked at a trutle for a couple hours. And Bear drank lots of beers. He shared with The Moose cause The Moose is always entertaining when he is into the beers; falling over and running into trees on those skinny little legs.
Bear fell over lots too. Then he found some human garbage cans and foraged in them for snacks. Bear doesn't normally forage in the garbage cans much anymore, but when Bear gets into the Beers he gets hungry and humans always throw out lots of good smelling things, so Bear got some good snacks. The Moose doesn't like the garbage as much cause he just likes to eat trees and theres lots of them around for foraging.
Then Bear made Bear noises and scared some deers, cause deers are easy to scare and Bear needs to keep them away from The Moose cause they can kill The Moose with their parisites. Then Bear had a nap. Bear woke up to The Moose licking his face cause The Moose had woken up first and wanted to go back to the house so he could watch Regis and Kelly on the picture box.
It was a fun night.
So Bear decided last night that Bear and The Moose needed a night out running in the woods, with lots of beers of course. So Bear and The Moose waited until dark and ran to the woods. We had a great time foraging and Bear fished and clawed trees and shit in the woods. Lots of fun. The Moose ate trees and ran around and got lost and got scared of deers he thought he smelled. Then he poked at a trutle for a couple hours. And Bear drank lots of beers. He shared with The Moose cause The Moose is always entertaining when he is into the beers; falling over and running into trees on those skinny little legs.
Bear fell over lots too. Then he found some human garbage cans and foraged in them for snacks. Bear doesn't normally forage in the garbage cans much anymore, but when Bear gets into the Beers he gets hungry and humans always throw out lots of good smelling things, so Bear got some good snacks. The Moose doesn't like the garbage as much cause he just likes to eat trees and theres lots of them around for foraging.
Then Bear made Bear noises and scared some deers, cause deers are easy to scare and Bear needs to keep them away from The Moose cause they can kill The Moose with their parisites. Then Bear had a nap. Bear woke up to The Moose licking his face cause The Moose had woken up first and wanted to go back to the house so he could watch Regis and Kelly on the picture box.
It was a fun night.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Bear Growing Up Part 3
When Bear was a cub and still lived in the woods Bear loved to smell things, and after smelling, Bear would normally eat things. Sometimes they tasted bad, sometimes good, sometimes they came back up Bear's mouth, sometimes they made Bear's bum hurt when he pooped.
Once Bear was smelling around and he discovered a funny new animal with spiky fur-- but not a fury bear. Bear smelled him and started chasing him, but then he shot Bear in the snout with his fur. It hurt lots. He looked like this on the side.
Bear couldn't get the spiky fur out of his snout -- again problems with the lack of opposable thumbs. So Bear made friends with some other little furry animals that didn't have spiky fur to shoot into Bear's snout. They called themselves the squirrels. They had tiny little digits for opening the nuts that they ate. They were little and furry with bushy tails. Bear liked them. Bear made an agreement with them that he wouldn't eat them or steal any of the nuts they hid in trees and they would take the spiky fur out of Bear's snout.
The squirrels took the spiky fur out of his snout and Bear made friends with them. And Bear learned the smell of the spiky fur animals and learned to stay away from them. Mamma told Bear that they are just nervous and shy and only do that cause bears are big and scare them. Since they are only little its the only way they can stop other animals from eating them. Bear understands now.
Bear still talks to the squirrels when he goes in the woods. The squirrels can even run around in the city without the humans shooting them. Humans seem to like squirrels more than bears for some reason. Bear doesn't like speciesism.
The squirrels have a good network cause there are so many of them and they're so quick at running and climbing, so they're good at telling Bear things, like where to find campers with beers and where rivers with good fishing are. The squirrels can speak bird too and birds can go anywhere cause they can fly over things. So the squirrels know lots. Bear talks to them lots to get updates, especially when Lynx goes on his adventures far away. He went across the big water once on a boat to try to find the girl when she went on a vacation and he missed her.
Now the squirrels tell Bear that Lynx is close to where Moose is from, in Appalachian. Lynx used to eat the squirrels if he got hungry, but since we got the white box in the house, Lynx only hunts rabbits and sees how they're useful for keeping in touch.
Bear had further problems smelling animals when Bear found the animal with the white stiped down its back that shot its poop at Bear and made Bear stink. Mamma made Bear sleep outside the den for 2 weeks after that cause Bear smelled so bad. Mamma explained that they were just like the spikey fur animals and that was their way of not getting eaten. Bear thought this was funny, why weren't they just be big with claws instead of running around the woods smelling bad?
Bear learned there are lots of funny things in the woods that don't make lots of sense to Bear. Even more in the city with the humans.
Once Bear was smelling around and he discovered a funny new animal with spiky fur-- but not a fury bear. Bear smelled him and started chasing him, but then he shot Bear in the snout with his fur. It hurt lots. He looked like this on the side.Bear couldn't get the spiky fur out of his snout -- again problems with the lack of opposable thumbs. So Bear made friends with some other little furry animals that didn't have spiky fur to shoot into Bear's snout. They called themselves the squirrels. They had tiny little digits for opening the nuts that they ate. They were little and furry with bushy tails. Bear liked them. Bear made an agreement with them that he wouldn't eat them or steal any of the nuts they hid in trees and they would take the spiky fur out of Bear's snout.
The squirrels took the spiky fur out of his snout and Bear made friends with them. And Bear learned the smell of the spiky fur animals and learned to stay away from them. Mamma told Bear that they are just nervous and shy and only do that cause bears are big and scare them. Since they are only little its the only way they can stop other animals from eating them. Bear understands now.
Bear still talks to the squirrels when he goes in the woods. The squirrels can even run around in the city without the humans shooting them. Humans seem to like squirrels more than bears for some reason. Bear doesn't like speciesism.The squirrels have a good network cause there are so many of them and they're so quick at running and climbing, so they're good at telling Bear things, like where to find campers with beers and where rivers with good fishing are. The squirrels can speak bird too and birds can go anywhere cause they can fly over things. So the squirrels know lots. Bear talks to them lots to get updates, especially when Lynx goes on his adventures far away. He went across the big water once on a boat to try to find the girl when she went on a vacation and he missed her.
Now the squirrels tell Bear that Lynx is close to where Moose is from, in Appalachian. Lynx used to eat the squirrels if he got hungry, but since we got the white box in the house, Lynx only hunts rabbits and sees how they're useful for keeping in touch.
Bear had further problems smelling animals when Bear found the animal with the white stiped down its back that shot its poop at Bear and made Bear stink. Mamma made Bear sleep outside the den for 2 weeks after that cause Bear smelled so bad. Mamma explained that they were just like the spikey fur animals and that was their way of not getting eaten. Bear thought this was funny, why weren't they just be big with claws instead of running around the woods smelling bad?
Bear learned there are lots of funny things in the woods that don't make lots of sense to Bear. Even more in the city with the humans.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Bear Growing Up Part 2
Bear remembers the first time he met humans when he was still living in the woods with mamma bear and brother. Bear and brother used to play in the woods all day long -- wrestling, climbing trees (bear is too big to climb most tress now, like humans are), marking territory, eating berries, fishing, napping, clawing trees -- all the fun bear things.
Soon bear and brother were big enough for mamma to let us explore on our own. One day we met some other bears who were a bit older. They took Bear and brother to the part of the woods where mamma had told us not to visit. It was where the humans come to spend a night in the woods in funny little mini houses they put up in the woods. Bear knows that those are tents now. Moose loves the tents. Bears had to be careful cause the humans cleared all the trees in some parts and moved around in huge fast boxes together. Bears can be hurt if the boxes hit them. Now Bear knows that the boxes are called cars and Bear can drive in one with the car card that the humans gave him.
The humans would make their food warm with fire before they eat it, and it would make smells that make bears stop thinking. But the older bears showed Bear and brother that the humans will shoot us if we try to eat their food while they were eating. So we learned to wait till they were napping and would take their food then. Sometimes the humans would hang their food up high, or put it in boxes that are hard to open without opposable thumbs, but Bear could climb and break, so we would eat the funnest foods that Bear and brother had never smelled before.
The older bears showed Bear and brother that the humans drank thinks other than the river. Bear thought this was strange at first, but the food on the fire and the moving boxes and little houses and only living in the woods for a night was strange too and the humans seemed to like it all, so Bear let it go. The humans would put their special drinks in a special box that was the hardest to open, but after a while we could break the box. The drinks were in special cans and glass and the other bears called it beers. Bears could only drink the ones in cans, cause we would just break the bottles and spill the drinks
Bear and brother drank some beers with the other bears. Then Bear felt funny and spinny and fell over. Then the food Bear had eaten came out again. Then Bear ate it again. Then Bear had a nap. Bear had a hurt on his head when he woke up. Bear liked the beers.
Mamma wasn't very happy with brother and Bear when the other mamma bears told her about drinking the humans beers, but it was fun for Bear and brother so we would sneak to the place where the humans lived in the woods for a night and wait for them to nap so we could get foods and beers. It was fun.
Soon bear and brother were big enough for mamma to let us explore on our own. One day we met some other bears who were a bit older. They took Bear and brother to the part of the woods where mamma had told us not to visit. It was where the humans come to spend a night in the woods in funny little mini houses they put up in the woods. Bear knows that those are tents now. Moose loves the tents. Bears had to be careful cause the humans cleared all the trees in some parts and moved around in huge fast boxes together. Bears can be hurt if the boxes hit them. Now Bear knows that the boxes are called cars and Bear can drive in one with the car card that the humans gave him.
The humans would make their food warm with fire before they eat it, and it would make smells that make bears stop thinking. But the older bears showed Bear and brother that the humans will shoot us if we try to eat their food while they were eating. So we learned to wait till they were napping and would take their food then. Sometimes the humans would hang their food up high, or put it in boxes that are hard to open without opposable thumbs, but Bear could climb and break, so we would eat the funnest foods that Bear and brother had never smelled before.
The older bears showed Bear and brother that the humans drank thinks other than the river. Bear thought this was strange at first, but the food on the fire and the moving boxes and little houses and only living in the woods for a night was strange too and the humans seemed to like it all, so Bear let it go. The humans would put their special drinks in a special box that was the hardest to open, but after a while we could break the box. The drinks were in special cans and glass and the other bears called it beers. Bears could only drink the ones in cans, cause we would just break the bottles and spill the drinks
Bear and brother drank some beers with the other bears. Then Bear felt funny and spinny and fell over. Then the food Bear had eaten came out again. Then Bear ate it again. Then Bear had a nap. Bear had a hurt on his head when he woke up. Bear liked the beers.
Mamma wasn't very happy with brother and Bear when the other mamma bears told her about drinking the humans beers, but it was fun for Bear and brother so we would sneak to the place where the humans lived in the woods for a night and wait for them to nap so we could get foods and beers. It was fun.
Bear Blog
Bear is very happy today. The number with lots of 0's finds Bear's blog now when Bear asks it to. Before it just found lots of things about other bear stories and this stock market thing. Now the number with lots of 0's finds Bear's blog. Bear hopes this means that Bear's blog will be famous like the hilton boy that the girl likes so much, and then Bear will be famous too and make lots of credit card numbers for beers.
Bear is having trouble getting money from the Stearns bear, and the man told him that the new city makes everything cost more on the credit card. So Bear wants to get more money for human stuff and the internet tells him that he can get money from his blog.
Bear needs to find out what this stock market place is. It seems to sell bears and man cows. Bear only knows the Saturday market where the hippie humans hang out and where Bear can get fishes if he wakes up early enough. The internet seems to like this stock market more than the Saturday market though. Bear dosn't like the idea of buying other bears though, and the idea of selling other bears upsets Bear a bit. Maybe Bear and Lynx should go free all the other bears and man cows. Or maybe Bear can get the sue girl to get money from the stock market for Bear so he can get more numbers on his credit card.
Bear is having trouble getting money from the Stearns bear, and the man told him that the new city makes everything cost more on the credit card. So Bear wants to get more money for human stuff and the internet tells him that he can get money from his blog.
Bear needs to find out what this stock market place is. It seems to sell bears and man cows. Bear only knows the Saturday market where the hippie humans hang out and where Bear can get fishes if he wakes up early enough. The internet seems to like this stock market more than the Saturday market though. Bear dosn't like the idea of buying other bears though, and the idea of selling other bears upsets Bear a bit. Maybe Bear and Lynx should go free all the other bears and man cows. Or maybe Bear can get the sue girl to get money from the stock market for Bear so he can get more numbers on his credit card.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Lynx Has Gone
Lynx got tired of watching the man being sad around the house so he's left to go to the new city with the girl. He says he wanted to go and consolidate his empire and territorial holdings. He's really just running around hunting rabbits and peeing on everything. Bear thinks that he really just misses Cappy. Lynx acts tough, but Bear knows that he has motherly feelings for Cappy since he rescued him from the cage.
Bear told Moose that everyone is playing hide and seek with him. Last time Cappy and him played hide and seek it took Moose 3 days to find Cappy. Bear will let him look for a couple more days, then Bear will give Moose a beer and he'll forget. We made a nest for him out of the girls left over clothes for him to sleep in at night.
Bear told Moose that everyone is playing hide and seek with him. Last time Cappy and him played hide and seek it took Moose 3 days to find Cappy. Bear will let him look for a couple more days, then Bear will give Moose a beer and he'll forget. We made a nest for him out of the girls left over clothes for him to sleep in at night.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Moose Highway
Moose can't even drive.
moose highway
Bear doesn't like traffic, why no bear highway? Moose can't even hold the car wheel with those hoofs.
moose highway
Bear doesn't like traffic, why no bear highway? Moose can't even hold the car wheel with those hoofs.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Who are these Bears?
What's up with this bunch?
Stearns Bear
Bear has been looking at this internet for Bear stuff for the Bear blog, and Bear keeps finding stuff on this stearns bear. At first Bear thought the stearns was a type of bear, like albino or big and brown. Then Bear found out that it was just a bunch of humans calling themselves bear but not even costuming like bears or acting like bears. The don't even fish or nap all winter.
This upsets Bear cause Bear can't just go out calling himself a human but not dressing and buying things with credit cards like humans or he would be shot.
The internet tells Bear that Bear has to sue them for using Bear's image and not paying him any royalties. Apparently then these stearns humans would have to start to pay my credit card instead of the EI humans. Bear is going to find out who sue is and how she can get my credit card paid off.
Stearns Bear
Bear has been looking at this internet for Bear stuff for the Bear blog, and Bear keeps finding stuff on this stearns bear. At first Bear thought the stearns was a type of bear, like albino or big and brown. Then Bear found out that it was just a bunch of humans calling themselves bear but not even costuming like bears or acting like bears. The don't even fish or nap all winter.
This upsets Bear cause Bear can't just go out calling himself a human but not dressing and buying things with credit cards like humans or he would be shot.
The internet tells Bear that Bear has to sue them for using Bear's image and not paying him any royalties. Apparently then these stearns humans would have to start to pay my credit card instead of the EI humans. Bear is going to find out who sue is and how she can get my credit card paid off.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Gone
The girl is gone now. Bear is in charge. The man just lies in bed crying and smelling her pillow. Bear likes to smell things, but this is a bit excessive.
Bear hopes the man will get himself together soon and go to the liquor store, cause Bear is out of beers and too lazy to put on the costume.
Lynx says that Cappy got into one of the girls bags and went with the girl. Bear hopes he has a nice trip and doesn't have to long without snacks. Lynx gave him a corn for travel snacks. Lynx knows well about travel snacks.
The girl left Moose food treats. Moose has been trying to get the food treat bag open since noon. Humans are funny about putting things in boxes that animals can't open. Lynx will use his claws to open it for Moose soon, but not for a couple more hours cause watching him run around the house poking it with his dull hoofs and gnawing at it with his herbivore tooths with no success is far too entertaining. It might be less entertaining soon if the man doesn't get Bear some beer. Bear is going to go give him a bite soon.
Bear hopes the man will get himself together soon and go to the liquor store, cause Bear is out of beers and too lazy to put on the costume.
Lynx says that Cappy got into one of the girls bags and went with the girl. Bear hopes he has a nice trip and doesn't have to long without snacks. Lynx gave him a corn for travel snacks. Lynx knows well about travel snacks.
The girl left Moose food treats. Moose has been trying to get the food treat bag open since noon. Humans are funny about putting things in boxes that animals can't open. Lynx will use his claws to open it for Moose soon, but not for a couple more hours cause watching him run around the house poking it with his dull hoofs and gnawing at it with his herbivore tooths with no success is far too entertaining. It might be less entertaining soon if the man doesn't get Bear some beer. Bear is going to go give him a bite soon.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Big Changes
Bear is sad today. The Human girl we live with is going to an even bigger city. Moose is inconsolable. Cappy keeps trying to hide in her human carry boxes. Lynx is marking lots to claim her stuff.
Bear is concerned for the man. Bear isn't sure he is trained to feed and clean himself. Bear might have to be in charge.
The girl promises that we will all come to the bigger city with the man soon.
Animals are all excited to see a new territory. Lynx especially enjoys expanding his territory. He went to the other side of the big water on a giant boat once. He says there aren't many lynxes where we are going, so he will be king shit for miles along the coast. Moose and Cappy are just confused. Bear will tell them we're going on a giant camping trip and they'll forget everything.
The man tells Bear that there's a giant woods right in the city where the animals can run at night. And animals can try out new easier to put on disguises (hard to dress Bear with no opposable claws)in the big city cause there are so many people and lots of them wear disguises that no one will notice us. He says there's lots of new smells for Bear too. Bear loves new smells. And its by the coast, so there's still lots of work for seasonal fisherbears.
Bear is concerned for the man. Bear isn't sure he is trained to feed and clean himself. Bear might have to be in charge.
The girl promises that we will all come to the bigger city with the man soon.
Animals are all excited to see a new territory. Lynx especially enjoys expanding his territory. He went to the other side of the big water on a giant boat once. He says there aren't many lynxes where we are going, so he will be king shit for miles along the coast. Moose and Cappy are just confused. Bear will tell them we're going on a giant camping trip and they'll forget everything.
The man tells Bear that there's a giant woods right in the city where the animals can run at night. And animals can try out new easier to put on disguises (hard to dress Bear with no opposable claws)in the big city cause there are so many people and lots of them wear disguises that no one will notice us. He says there's lots of new smells for Bear too. Bear loves new smells. And its by the coast, so there's still lots of work for seasonal fisherbears.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Golfing Bear
This was a close call. Bear had started golfing in Bear's spare time. Bear can hold the club between his claws, and Bear got a good disguise for golfing. But Bear lost his temper and went a bit animal. Bear composed himself in the woods, hiding, then Bear got back to the car in the parking lot and drove home. Bear has since quit golfing.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>//Rooters Toronto:
>>//
News Feed August 7, 2008 13:12:00
An angry adolescent black bear ran amuck today on the 9th hole of
a golf and country club just outside of the central business district,
frightening a number of golfers. One man has been reported missing.
"He just came out of nowhere, throwing clubs from his mouth, and tearing
apart a golf bag with his claws. Then he looked at us and ran into the
woods" said John P Townigonian, who was preparing hit his tee shot when
the bear appeared.
One member of the foursome disappeared just before the sighting and has
not been seen since. All that is known about the unidentified man is
that his name is Beau, he comes from the New Brunswick area, he's 5'5",
about 120lbs ,has a thick dark beard and he works seasonally as a
fisherman. "He hit a terrible tee shot into the woods on the 9th, just
before all the ruckus began. Then he just disappeared. We never saw him
again".
Parks and Wildlife rangers were called to the scene and have set bear
traps but have found no sign of the bear outside of the golf course, "We
tracked him to the parking lot, then the trail just ended", said the
ranger.
As for the missing golfer no signs of an attack have been found. "He
probably just got scared and ran off. He was just paired with us today,
nobody knew him. He was some drunk though" said Townigonian.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>//Rooters Toronto:
>>//
News Feed August 7, 2008 13:12:00
An angry adolescent black bear ran amuck today on the 9th hole of
a golf and country club just outside of the central business district,
frightening a number of golfers. One man has been reported missing.
"He just came out of nowhere, throwing clubs from his mouth, and tearing
apart a golf bag with his claws. Then he looked at us and ran into the
woods" said John P Townigonian, who was preparing hit his tee shot when
the bear appeared.
One member of the foursome disappeared just before the sighting and has
not been seen since. All that is known about the unidentified man is
that his name is Beau, he comes from the New Brunswick area, he's 5'5",
about 120lbs ,has a thick dark beard and he works seasonally as a
fisherman. "He hit a terrible tee shot into the woods on the 9th, just
before all the ruckus began. Then he just disappeared. We never saw him
again".
Parks and Wildlife rangers were called to the scene and have set bear
traps but have found no sign of the bear outside of the golf course, "We
tracked him to the parking lot, then the trail just ended", said the
ranger.
As for the missing golfer no signs of an attack have been found. "He
probably just got scared and ran off. He was just paired with us today,
nobody knew him. He was some drunk though" said Townigonian.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Animal House Rules
When Bear moved to the city and started living with the people there was a lot for Bear to learn. The man started teaching Bear starting with the house rules. Things were very different for Bear then they were in the woods.
Animal House Rules:
Animal House Rules:
- The most important rule is that animals do not go out in the city without a disguise. Humans get very upset when they see animals in the city, and if they catch us they will shoot us or put us in a small cage. Animals do not want this. We like living in the house.
- Animals do not use anything that gets hot because animals might burn themselves or burn down the house, then there would be no house to live in.
- Animals do not eat the plants inside the house.
- Animals do not eat the fish in the small fish pond in the house.
- Animals do not shit in the house. Animals have to shit in the white water bowl and push the button.
- Animals do not answer the door in the house. Other humans only know about our humans living in the house, so people would be scared by a large bear answering the door, even if the disguise was on.
- Animals do not hunt the other animals that humans live with.
Bear Growing Up Part I
Bear's memory starts in Fundy, 3 warm times ago. There was Bear, mama bear and brother. We spent all day playing, eating and napping. Bear and brother would run in the woods and have bear fights. At first bear ate from mama bear's belly. Then mama bear started bringing us fishes she caught. Bear loves the fishes. Mama bear would take us fishing with her, and taught us how to fish in the shallow pools where some fish get stuck. Bear still remembers the first fish he caught all by himself. Bear didn't want to share with brother, but mama made me. It was still good. And when brother caught one, he had to share with me.
Sometimes other big men bears would get in fights with mama, but mama would always win. She said that they were trying to eat us. Bear just liked fish, not other bears.
Soon bears were getting fish all by themselves. Then it got cold.Bear likes the cold. And the white came on the ground. The white was fun to eat and play in. Then mama made a new hole and we all got in and had the biggest nap ever. Bear loves remembering being all warm and cozy in the hole.
Sometimes other big men bears would get in fights with mama, but mama would always win. She said that they were trying to eat us. Bear just liked fish, not other bears.
Soon bears were getting fish all by themselves. Then it got cold.Bear likes the cold. And the white came on the ground. The white was fun to eat and play in. Then mama made a new hole and we all got in and had the biggest nap ever. Bear loves remembering being all warm and cozy in the hole.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Bear
This is the story of me, and how I moved from the woods into the city to live with a nice boy and girl and learn the way that humans live.
Bear is a 4 year old black bear.
Bear lives in a house with 2 humans, a moose, a lynx and a capabara.
Bear works as a seasonal fisherman. But now most of the time Bear gets his food out a white cold box in the house now, so bear doesn't need to hunt and forage.
Bear had lots of extra time on his paws since bear didn't have to hunt and forage all day, so Bear learned to use this internet.
Bear got a credit card using this internet so he could buy things like the humans and not pay for them.
Bear made a disguise from things my humans had in the house so bear could go in public to buy stuff.
Then the credit card humans told bear that bear needs to give them money. So bear used the internet to find out what seasonal fisherman use for money and he found out that the government gives them money. So Bear put on his disguise to go to the EI office and write some things on a piece of paper and now the EI government humans give bear emails to give to the bank humans and bear sends emails from the bank humans to the credit card humans so bear can give the credit card to the beer store humans and they give bear beers. Bear thinks this is a bit confusing but bear can get anything he wants now as long as he keeps emailing.
Some things bear wants live far away, so bear got a car driving license from the car license humans. Now bear can get anywhere quicker then bear can run.
Bear likes to live with the humans.
Bear is a 4 year old black bear.
Bear lives in a house with 2 humans, a moose, a lynx and a capabara.
Bear works as a seasonal fisherman. But now most of the time Bear gets his food out a white cold box in the house now, so bear doesn't need to hunt and forage.
Bear had lots of extra time on his paws since bear didn't have to hunt and forage all day, so Bear learned to use this internet.
Bear got a credit card using this internet so he could buy things like the humans and not pay for them.
Bear made a disguise from things my humans had in the house so bear could go in public to buy stuff.
Then the credit card humans told bear that bear needs to give them money. So bear used the internet to find out what seasonal fisherman use for money and he found out that the government gives them money. So Bear put on his disguise to go to the EI office and write some things on a piece of paper and now the EI government humans give bear emails to give to the bank humans and bear sends emails from the bank humans to the credit card humans so bear can give the credit card to the beer store humans and they give bear beers. Bear thinks this is a bit confusing but bear can get anything he wants now as long as he keeps emailing.
Some things bear wants live far away, so bear got a car driving license from the car license humans. Now bear can get anywhere quicker then bear can run.
Bear likes to live with the humans.
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